More breaking news: After club Captain Fabricio Coloccini bail out attempt, the Loric Remy farce and now hot on the heels of their latest 'agreed' target Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (whose name loosely translates as I wouldn't touch the mags with yours) not showing up for his agreed medical, its been reported that Newcastle have made an inquiry to a small leper colony to sign one of their French under 21 lepers and link up as a feeder club for all other lepers. SSN understand however that the leper has reportedly advised Newcastle that he would be more socially acceptable to remain where he was for now. On the plus side, its been reported that Derek Llambias has now racked up over 10,000 air miles in the last 10 days, from flying in players from around the globe for other clubs to sign.
