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Breaking News: Shola Ameobi allergic to polyurethane

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Chappaz, May 9, 2011.

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  1. Chappaz

    Chappaz Active Member

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    Scientists have today confirmed that Newcastle striker Shola Ameobi is allergic to a substance known as Thermoplastic Polyurethane, or TPU.

    This comes as a startling revelation to many in the footballing industry as TPU is the prime component in the construction of footballs.

    "This severe allergy explains a lot of problems which Shola faces when he plays football", explains one of the scientists behind the test. "Common symptoms of a polyurethane allergy include slowed reflexes, deteriorated muscle strength, significantly reduced agility and impaired mental focus".

    The scientist continues, "The moment Shola is within a short distance of any modern football, he is overcome with a mild feeling of nausea, followed by a sudden on-set of the symptoms previously mentioned".

    "The effects of these symptoms are felt very rapidly. In fact, when Shola touches the ball, it takes under a second for his strength, speed and mental focus to become severely impaired".

    Despite this problematic allergy, the team of scientists are certain that it is Shola Ameobi's raw footballing talent which has still allowed him to score an impressive 48 goals over the past 11 years.
     
    #1
    Chappaz, May 9, 2011
  2. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    <laugh>!!!

    Would rep if I could, that's class!
     
    #2
    Aldridge_Prior, May 9, 2011
  3. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Messi may have outscored Shola's entire 11 year career in less than one season but Messi looks daft in a mask.

    please log in to view this image


    Get well soon Shola and don't forget to write!

    EDIT: Computer says to spread it <wah>
     
    #3
    overseasTOON, May 9, 2011
  4. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

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    <laugh> Brilliant, REP!




    EDIT: Need to spread
     
    #4
    Tiggyrimana, May 9, 2011
  5. AH

    AH Active Member

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    <laugh>

    rep successful! woooo
     
    #5
    AH, May 9, 2011
  6. Son of a pitch

    Son of a pitch Active Member

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    <laugh> rep successful.
     
    #6
    Son of a pitch, May 9, 2011
  7. The Secret Ingredient

    The Secret Ingredient Well-Known Member

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    this
     
    #7
    The Secret Ingredient, May 9, 2011
  8. Hatem Is A Geordie

    Hatem Is A Geordie Active Member

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    <laugh> Will rep if I can...
     
    #8
    Hatem Is A Geordie, May 9, 2011
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