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Breaking news, earthquake in Noocassell

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by HorsleyHillCat, Jan 21, 2013.

  1. HorsleyHillCat

    HorsleyHillCat Well-Known Member

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    earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale struck newcastle in the early hours. In byker grove, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly . The earthquake decimated the entire area causing about £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair.
    Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old were disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived. The journal Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused, bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of Ladbrokes.
    One resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept through it all. I was still shaking
    whilst watching jeremy kyle the next day".
    Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal.
    The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings including Benefit
    Books, provi book's jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and finest bone china from Mad Harry's.
    HOW CAN YOU HELP?
    This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the most sought after items are;
    * Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps
    * Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers)
    * Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length,
    * White Socks
    * Rockport Boots
    * and anything else from the Donnay shop
    Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beans, Super Noodles, Sausage Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies. Special brew or white lightning would also be gratefully received.
    Every little helps. Remember:
    * 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form
    * £3.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of nine
    * £8.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a grieving ten year old Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation is unfair on the residents of jarrow
    Thank you please ftm
     
    #1
  2. Uni_Mackem_MAHons

    Uni_Mackem_MAHons Active Member

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  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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  4. grandpops

    grandpops Well-Known Member

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    I like that.
     
    #4
  5. mickyjjjj

    mickyjjjj Member

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    ha nice one :grin:
     
    #5
  6. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

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    dick!!
     
    #6

  7. mackemwelder

    mackemwelder Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant
     
    #7
  8. C19RK73

    C19RK73 Red & White army!

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  9. Jarramag88

    Jarramag88 Well-Known Member

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    What you said!!
     
    #9
  10. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

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    Jarrow marchers, first town on the tyne

    We are steeped in history.

    South Shields, steeped in smack!
     
    #10
  11. talcnturnip

    talcnturnip Well-Known Member

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    Now now mate we'll have none of that now.
     
    #11
  12. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> Only messing mate but I don't half love Jarra :)
     
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  13. talcnturnip

    talcnturnip Well-Known Member

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    Thought it was pronounced Jarrowww? ;)
     
    #13
  14. Cest Advocaat

    Cest Advocaat Well-Known Member

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    I used to work in Jarra for nearly 4 years and often went to the Morrison store and Viking Precinct for my lunch.


    I have to say that per head of population, there were more teenage mothers pushing kids in pushchairs than I've ever seen. You couldn't get moved for them in Morrison Cafe.

    Is it something in the water or does the leccy gan off regular and so nee telly? Lol:smile:
     
    #14
  15. Jarramag88

    Jarramag88 Well-Known Member

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    Jarra gets a bad rep, there are a lot of scroats about but I love the place. Even more so since I currently live in hebburn.
     
    #15
  16. monty987

    monty987 Well-Known Member

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    The sportsdirect.com shop in Newcastle has not been raided though, Mike ashley will be pleasedd!.
     
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  17. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

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    Had a good ****ing chuckle at this, <laugh>.
     
    #17
  18. Shameless

    Shameless Well hung member

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    Very funny,well done - gets my vote for post of the year so far!
     
    #18

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