Bird blocks toilet with monster jobby

A woman had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in a window while trying to retrieve her own excrement - all while at the home of a Tinder date.

The self-proclaimed amateur gymnast had been for a romantic meal at Nando's with student Liam Smyth, 24, before they went back to his place in Bristol for a nightcap.

But a bizarre chain of events unfolded after she went to the toilet and blocked the pan.

In panic, she picked up the stool and threw it out the window - but it fell down into a narrow gap between two window panes.

She had no choice but to confess to Smyth, who bravely helped lower her out of the bathroom window into the gap between the houses in an attempt to retrieve it - which is when she got stuck.

But Smyth said his date had other ideas.

'Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested "inside out bag as glove" technique.

'Unfortunately she couldn't reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window.

'She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came.

please log in to view this image

 

She's a keeper that one.

 

He was hoping for a bottle of wine and a movie (expecting at least a BJ) and got that drama instead with a £300 bill to fix the window. I reckon he should certainly risk the second date as he'd at least get the apology shag out of it plus if she is as flexible as that there could be some knees behind the ears action.

 

****in topper

 

Would have been better if she got stuck without him being there then he just walks in and finds her like that

 

I thought it was only blokes who did toilet blockers?

 

Lot of shîte.

 

You ever done a toilet blocker Tina?

 

I do my jobbys into a bag.

 

Is that so you can freeze them and use them as a makeshift dildo?

 

Correct.

 

Must have been a thick, substantial log, especially given it was still in enough shape to be collected even after being launched about

 

Was it a floater I take it?

She's an amateur jobbier ffs

 

You'd think that if it was big enough to pick up out the ****ter, then why not just punch **** out of it in the pan and break it up so it can be flushed easier?

You aren't at one with yourself until you've had to unblock a toilet in someone else's hoose with your bare hands.

 

Women don't think properly though. Stupid poofs.

 

I would have poked it down the plug in the sink and in the bath, would only have taken a couple of minutes. Then another 30 seconds for the obligatory water after test to make sure that no bits come floating back into the sink when you turn the tap on.

 

I would have just left it, made my excuses then headed home.

 

Put it in the cistern next time love.

 

That would imply that a member of the opposite sex would invite you back to their place

The fat fruit lady maybe.

 

She should have shat on his chest, given him a bit of enjoyment too, selfish bitch.