I was at Spurs away many seasons ago and we were awful, bloody awful. A Spurs player went down and for quite a time, this was before stretchers and sprays, this was magic sponge territory. Five minutes must have passed when from far behind us came the cry of ' don't just stand there Ipswich - PRACTISE !!!! - I'm sure there are better....but its a start.
Not really heard too many 1 liners if I'm honest, but one comment from a fan really narked me and we had a constant confrontation during a game ! Tommy Miller is a player that very much divides opinion at Ipswich. My view is a cracking penalty taker, average player. However the fan behind me decided he absolutely hated Miller, slating him right from kick off. After two minutes into the game he said " f off Miller, your f ing s, you've done f all for us " Funnily enough, the game was at Deepdale........ Miller at Deepdale is similar to Nugent at Portman Road, no idea why, he just scores. He scored 1,,,,,,,, " surely uve seen worse players for us ?? " I said to the fan, who was still on one..... !!! He scored his 2nd for a late consolation ( won me £16 as I bet on him being the last scorer !!! ) So I said " yeah your right mate, great example of how s Miller is !!! " He was speachless, stupid fat rubbish supporter!
An apocryphal story originally attributed (I believe) to a Portsmouth fan whose wife complained about him spending too much time watching football: Wife:I sometimes think you love Portsmouth more than you love me. Husband:My dear, I love Southampton more than I love you!
I was at a testimonial once against Arsenal (I think it was John Walkâs or Simon Miltonâs, but I could be wrong), and we were in the north stand as the Churchmanâs (south stand) was being redeveloped and was empty apart from a few stewards. At one point during the dull match a bloke behind me stands up and shouts... âSing up churchmanâs!â
Was at Layer Rd. for a ColU. V Sheffield Utd. game, Tony Currie was playing up front for Sheffield and missed a real sitter, guy beside me shouts out "For a curry you aint so bloody hot".
Not one liners ive heard at a match but if you get a minute google "sir bobby robsons quotes " theres some crackers on there
George Best staying in a 5 star luxury hotel suite with Miss World on the bed and bundles and bundles of cash strewn all over the place. Room service knocks on the door and enters. As he looks around and see's all the cash and the stunning half naked girl on the bed he turns round and says "George!.....Where did it all go wrong!!"
Heard this at a match but i don't think it had anything to do with the football!! Guy turns round to his mate and says 'I felt like a ****ing Tampon' 'In the best possible place at the worse ****ing time'
An absolute classic attributed to 'Arry Redknap when manager at West Ham. Aftermatch interview; " Decanio did'nt play very well, did you think of pulling him off at half time" Reply: " No, he had an orange like everyone else".
Was at a Colchester match, some cup game, the U's won a free kick within good range, I think it was Thomas Penault who was standing over the ball in a determined fashion which was the catalyst for the chap behind me to shout - "Oh no, not F***ing Penault", consequently Penault smashed home an absolute beauty of a free-kick, didn't hear much from that guy from then on... Second one, simple and immature, yet very funny at the time: Loudspeaker: "Message for Judy (surname) in the away section... Large man with pie: "Judy your a c**t!"
The old joke featuring two men talking in a pub is along these lines. Man 1. So I hear you've split up with your wife? Man 2. Yep, she said I put always my football before her. Couldn't believe she'd say that, we'd been together for nearly 23 seasons.
I was watching my local team Bishops Stortford play Havant and Waterlooville in the Conference South. The Stortford fans spent the whole afternoon chanting; "You're French and you know your are" at the visiting supporters and as the game went deep into injury time with Stortford hanging on to a slender 1 goal lead, someone behind me shouted; "Hurry up Ref. they've got a ferry to catch". Made me smile anyway.
Best one liner I heard,was a match at Portman road in the early nineties. David Linighan scored a goal for us, and a heckler in the crowd shouted. 'You want to try and stop them at the opposite end.
During a Sunday league game i was playing in,we were 2-1 up and getting hammered,our skipper shouted "time Ref", the guy looked at his watch and said "5 past 12".
