I'm a groomsman at a wedding tomorrow - and the best man is a well known bottle merchant. The situation could arise where I have to step in and save the day - gis some backup inspiration?
I did best man twice and used this line twice: "Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" surprisingly I haven't been asked since!
I've known X for many years now. He's been like a brother to me. P.S. This doesn't really work if the bridegroom isn't your brother and you may look a bit mental.
If you do step in how about slipping in the old chestnut.....mother-in-law is an anagram of Hitler Woman......that should go down well.
I`ve done the best man thing twice, each time I scribbled down my speech in the bogs at the reception shortly before the formalities began - best to leave it to inspiration and adrenaline..... a little Charlie also helps.
That's what I did for the speech at my wedding - just made it up on the spot. When I ran out of impromptu material towards the end I just pretended to break into tears.
'pretended', aye. At every wedding there comes that indefatigable moment when you realise, oh ****, what have I done.
The first time I met "JOHN", I was needing a DIY store. I asked him if there was a B&Q in Glasgow. "Naw", came the reply "but there's two G's and an O".
At the start of the speech: This is not the first time I've stood up from a warm seat with a peice of paper in my hand! So, "John" says he cant wait for his Honeymoon in Wales ... what, what you mean "Mexico", you said ye cant wait to get to Bangor for a week.
Make up stories: So, me and "John" where out for a few pints and we needed some food. So we stopped off at the local takeway to get a pizza. The server asked John if he woudl like his pizza cut into 6 or 12 slices... "Eh, better make it 6... i'l never eat 12!"
