"Dear All 1000 people in the company. Baby Farquar was born yesterday weighing 8lbs 3oz. Mother and baby are doing well. There's a collection and card doing the rounds if you would like to contribute for a gift. Photo attached" Does anybody else get these fecking emails in work? I get one every couple of days. 1. I don't know who the **** you are talking about. 2. Even if I did, I couldn't care less. 3. What makes you think I want to see a photo of your shrivelled up, ugly ass of a baby. 4. Stick your collection up your ass. Pure does ma nut in.
Surely people don't put money in if they don't know who it is and even if you knew who the person was, the chances are I wouldn't put money in. Does the picture of the baby change with each email, because if it doesn't...it's a scam!
Fully agree SSK i also hate it when people bring their babies in a few weeks after they're born. 'would you like to hold him/her?' 'NAW.' the room goes quiet and everyone stares at you.
If you work for a big enough company you always get the prick who wants to use the group emails to inform you about every part of their ****ey life. In my last company we had a 'Social Liaison Officer' who was basically employed full time to organise social things, like the Christmas party and dancing classes and 3 mile walks for aids and whatnot. She used to do the obligatory whip arounds for everything from new born babies to sending Parcels to 'our boys' in Afghanistan. The single worst thing about these people is they are employed to do **** all, so they spend half their time making up **** to do to make themselves look important - so while you're busy trying to make the company some money you get this twat walking around the office distracting you by trying to to get you involved in their 10 mile charity walk for breast cancer. Then they get offended when you tell them to **** off and include sly digs aimed at you in their next ****ey group email about the great response from "most" people in the trading room
we had an "office" baby born yesterday morning. two of the women in sales are expecting, its like a disease thats catching or something.
Men are under the hammer when it comes to the new born. There's always some woman trying to press the ugly little thing into your arms. Then it's "Who do you think he/she looks like? " For ****'s sake, they don't look like anyone, they're just bloated, screaming little **** producers who only want the tits that rightly belong to me. **** 'em.
A fella I work with put in a card to a pregnant girl we work with "Hope it's not mine". Our manager did not see the funny side to it, though she did herself. The same fella told me and the same girl at our last Xmas dinner that when he was in Bangkok a few year back him and his mates went for a game of golf with a bunch of hookers and got sucked off after each hole. It was one of them ones were he planned to tell a few of us and about a dozen heard. Because he knows what they'll look like. please log in to view this image Would hate to think what you sent 'our boys' in Afghanistan.
