Attilio Lombardo wikipedia

BigFox · Nov 11, 2011

Found this on Wikipedia when I was trying to figure out who that bald Italian guy that played for Crystal Palace in the 90's name was (it's Friday and I am killing time before I can go home from work).

Someone has had fun with this article!

Lombardo also performed in the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The Bald Eagle performed in front of a shocked audience in Malone's pub in the centre of Scotland's capital city. Sadly, Lombardo had to cut his performance short as one particular spectator who was later identified as 'Giran Jobe' was screaming 'Lombardo' so loud that Attilio could not be heard over this noise that was over 50dB.

Despite his diminished playing talent, Lombardo remains as revered as ever, and his name is often heard ringing in the air of Edinburgh's Waverley Station and Dunfermline's Transy Grove. His name is also commonly bellowed through letter boxes. Lombardo is currently kept busy as a member of the coaching staff at Manchester City Football Club. However, rumours persist that Attilio is in the process - along with ringleaders known locally as 'Wids' and 'Hobbie' - of founding an annual event to be called "The Team Brreeeennn", in which bald males from all over the World will meet at Dalgety Bay's 3G astroturf, before clashing cranium's in the centre-circle.

It was during the 2011s edition of "The Team Brreeeennn" that Lombardo, king of the 'Brain Dreeever', sustained his most serious injury to date. The former Italian international footballer was caught square on the skull by rookie competitor Jonathan Pickles. The impact caused Attilio to slump to the floor and lay motionless for several seconds, in similar fashion to Lewis Wotherspoon on Harlem dancefloor. At this point Lombardo was struck by his own signature move the 'brain dreeever' by a mystery contestant from Glasgow who's heads circumference measured three times the size of the average man. Lombardo was carried off the pitch and was later diagnosed in hospital with a 'sare heed'.

Apart from attending the dance music festival 'Creamfields' on an annual basis, it is rumoured that the former Lazio icon likes to unwind in Dunfermline night-spot Harlem on a Saturday night. On one particular night, witnesses watched in amazement as Attilio drank 14 pints of lager in 2 hours. As a result, the nightclub now have the 'Lombardo Challenge' in which participants are invited to match the great feat of the Bald Eagle. The contestants signal for a new pint to be brought over after downing their current pint and screaming, 'Attilio' as loud as they can. Anyone who can complete the challenge gets the alcohol free and a fully-grown bald eagle to look after. No one has yet managed to conquer the 'Lombardo Challenge'.

During the summer break of 2010, 'Popeye' mastered the art of opening cans of baked bean using nothing but his forehead. Attilio simply puts a can on a flat surface and drives his big bald dome into the top of the can for this effective but extremely messy technique. This kind of forward thinking has earned the former Italian international the praise of some of the world's top business minds. Lord Alan Sugar labelled him, 'an entrepreneur so far ahead of his time that it is unbelievable'. Lord Sugar went on to say that he was looking to hire Lombardo to spear-head his festive chestnut opening business that will be launched in time for Christmas 2012.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attilio_Lombardo

Attilio Lombardo wikipedia

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Attilio Lombardo wikipedia

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