After a strenuous session of DIY (painting, not w*nking) I am now playing host to a bunch of grapes and may have to get one of those inflatable rings to sit on. Farmer Giles, Emma Freud's, Chalfonts etc. Any of you had the pleasure and what did you do to get shot of them?
You've come to right place my friend Push your piles up your arse (works best in the shower with soapy fingers) and then clench your arse cheeks together as hard as you can. Repeat this until they are gone
i usually borrow the eyelash curlers of whatever floozy im banging that day and lop them off, before placing it delicately back in her make up bag
High fibre diet for a month did the trick for me. Had the bar stewards for a year or so in my early 40's. Driving was the biggest problem, used to hurt like feck about an hour after hitting the bog.
I made an impulse purchase of grapes when I was in Tesco this evening. I'm worried I may have been subliminally programmed by this thread.
Pumped a burd who had thrush and it was like my chap had been dipped in cottage cheese. She had to clean me off afterwards and apply liberal amounts of Canesten which was lovely, like a post shag cock massage. A different burd asked if I minded her being on the rag as no previous suitor had wanted to go near her mott during the curse. I happily obliged but the aftermath looked like some sort of abattoir. The chap was covered in what looked like chunks of liver and black globs of blood, all that mixed in with the nut muck made it all go pink and frothy. Enjoy your breakfast!
