As it stands at the moment.

Newcastle 5 Stoke City 1

Following a tricky opening half hour, it was business as usual for The Magpies at Gallowgate on Boxing Day as they racked up their biggest win in almost three years against a Potters side who finished up with nine men.

Visting manager Mark Hughes was also banished to the stands on a crazy afternoon for City, who had been full value for a 29th minute lead achieved thanks to a fine strike from on-loan Liverpool winger Oussama Assaidi.

The opening exchanges gave little hint of what was to follow, Mike Williamson's timely intervention in the tenth minute to block a Jonathan Walters strike followed soon after by a miskick from Mathieu Debuchy that flew across the six yard box but could have gone anywhere.

An all-too-rare piece of cohesive play from United midway through the opening half then saw Moussa Sissoko make progress down Newcastle's right flank, only for his pull-back to Yohan Cabaye to be cut out.

What may be the most manic five minutes of action in living memory at SJP though saw the first half end with the scores tied at 1-1, a penalty missed by United and Stoke shorn of two players and their manager. Wow.

Things had begun to unravel when Glenn Whelan was booked for a nasty challenge on Sissoko and continued a feud with Yohan Cabaye following his caution.

And barely five minutes later the Republic of Ireland international was heading for the dressing room, shown another yellow card after impeding Cabaye once again.

Mark Hughes took great exception to that and was lectured by referee Martin Atkinson - who turned his back as Hughes unleashed another volley of abuse at him.

The fourth official was well placed though to pick up that slack-jawed performance and promptly alerted Atkinson, Hughes tossing his coat away as he was banished - and later claiming that his offence was kicking the ball away.

Within seconds further madness had descended, as Loic Remy seized on an incisive pass from Vurnon Anita before clearly being impeded in the City area by Marc Wilson - who was also red-carded by Atkinson.

Without a goal in his previous five outings, Remy was entrusted with the duty of taking the resultant penalty. However he looked uncomfortable with the task and saw his spot kick easily saved by 'keeper Thomas Sorensen.

With Alan Pardew fuming at his side's profligacy, they immediately rectified matters as the recalled Hatem Ben Arfa burst into the box and fed Remy, who scored with a shot at the Leazes End deflecting off Ryan Shawcross.

That added insult to injury for City, who had just seen a handball appeal rejected at the opposite end.

The second half began with Shola Ameobi on in place of Anita and a golden opportunity for United to collect another three points and boost their goal difference.

A second Newcastle goal wasn't long in coming though, with just three minutes elapsed when Ben Arfa crossed from the byline and Gouffran steered the ball home for his fifth effort in as many home games.

It was just a matter of how many the home side would manage from then on and after Ben Arfa hammered his effort off a post, it was no surprise when Remy nodded home his second from a Mathieu Debuchy cross.

Ben Arfa inflicted further punishment on the same piece of woodwork before a fine goal on 66 minutes saw Cabaye stylishly side-foot home his fifth of the season for 4-1.

Gouffran then headed wide but it wasn't long before Ben Arfa jinked around in the area and was then brainlessly knocked over by former toon transfer target Erik Pieters.

By then Papiss Cisse had been added to United's forward array and despite memories of his awful spot kick against Norwich in 2012 after a previous goal drought, the man from Senegal kept his cool to drive past Sorensen.

5-1 ahead with ten minutes plus stoppage time still to play, hopes were high that further goals would follow.

However our best chances in the closing stages came when attacks by Ben Arfa and Massadio Haidara were halted illegally - Atkinson unwilling to award more pens.

Newcastle's first five goal return since a 5-0 home win over West Ham in January 2011 was a fitting way to record our 200th SJP victory in the Premier League.

And more pertinently, a seventh win in nine attempts maintained pressure on the sides above us - a surprise victory for the mackems at Everton aiding our cause.

With one game to play in 2013, Pardew's side now have 33 points - just one less than the total for the whole of the 2008/09 relegation season and three more than the tally we'd reached at this point in 2011/12.

Roll on 2014, things are looking good.

 

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