This is how it's playing out: Wenger has such a love for arsenal and he knows that only he, the great manager, can keep arsenal in the top four with the greedy board not doing anything, such as... giving him £2 to sign a couple of players. And when he quits, he will reveal it all in an autobiography, called 'I DID see it' saying 'Sorry, but I did it out of love for Arsenal, and if I went public, the board would have sacked me! I hope you will forgive me" And then you see, in 2015, the evil board are replaced by a consortium involving Gavin from Autoglass, now a multi millionaire, the go compare man and Eboue, who becomes club owner, manager and player. And Arsenal win EVERYTHING, with Van Persie scoring all the time after the cure to fix his injuries is discovered: He must have... certain relations... with Anne Widecombe. This is a tough decision for him, but he does it out of love for Arsenal. Mrs Van Persie is not too pleased, but she says 'Oh well, I have an AWESOME NAME anyway" The turning point is in the 2015-16 season, where Squilaci gets struck by lightning, and turns into a 50 foot dinosaur with superpowers such as laser vision. He decides to leave Arsenal to pursue interests such as interplanetery conquest, but not before squashing Cristiano Ronaldo's smug face flat into the ground. This gives the whole team a real morale boost, especially as a clip of Arshavin farting on Ronny becomes the most viewed video on youtube. And, in the dying moments of the 2016 champions league final against Barcelona, Fabregas goes up to defend a last minute Chamberlain corner, only to purposefully turn it into his own net, flicking the v's at all the barcelona fans, and rips off his Barcelona shirt to kiss the badge of an Arsenal shirt underneath. The best players in the world at this point (Messi, Babacar, Muniain, Hazard, Aurier, Joel Campbell and Ditmar Van Nostriboy) all sign 50 year contracts with Arsenal. Wenger comes back and hires prossies to celebrate the victory, and everyone has great fun, except Wilshere who is too pure to participate in such activities, and then becomes the man every single woman lusts after. Walcott had the best time, but even in 2016 he still had to show ID. And to top it all off, Harry Redknapp is found guilty of tax dodging again, but he's extended it to Tottenham Hotspur, who are about to be wound up by the government (Led by Prime Minister Stephen Fry). After a lengthy appeal they are allowed to play in the Barry's Pies League, the 23rd Division of English football. And in 2017 arsenal lose NO GAMES and Concede no Goals, and van persie scores 52 goals in EVERY SINGLE GAME because he's never injured. And the world goes into peace because everyone is too amazed at arsenal to bother with things such as water wars. And in 2018 England win the world cup under Wilshere's captaincy, and the papers scream 'AT LAST, AN ENGLAND STAR WHO EVERYONE LIKES" because Rooney is currently playing for Qatar F.C. after crying his way out of united. And everyone lives happily ever after.
Surely squillaci would bring peace as a 50ft tall dinosaur. Nobody would mess around with him there. Would eboue rename the club though.
