As anticipated, expectation throughout the afternoon had risen to where it now approached a state of fever pitch. People from all over the United Kingdom had long awaited this day, and now it had finally arrived. And who in their wildest dreams could possibly have imagined that the momentous occurrence would take place at beautiful Southwell, the pride of one of the lovliest parts of England, the East Midlands. A fairytale was about to unfold, the like of which is seldom seen in the noble sport of kings. Champions come and champions go, but few of that ilk spend a life time nestled warmly within our hearts. And rightly so, for if all the wonders of the world were to be housed in our busoms, they would quickly lose their appeal, for if everything is sublime, then nothing is exceptional. Just two and a half months ago , Dandy Nicholls stepped a pony sized galloper named Pint Size, into a six furlong maiden at Haydock. It went like a busted backside. Pint Size finished tenth of eleven and was beaten thirty six lengths. The Dandyman gave the horse three more starts for a couple of seconds and then cracked it for a win at Redcar. For reasons unknown to me, Pint Size found himself living in the Ellison yard. It was from here that the animal found his true calling, as a Fibresand Firebrand. It would be his one and only start for the stable. He won with a leg in the air. From the Ellison empire, Pint Size was passed on to a lady with most mellifluous monica, a Miss Gay Kelleway. First up, on the twelfth of this month, he made his debut for his new trainer. He drifted like the proverbial barge in a force ten gale, and chased the winner all the way. Nevertheless, it was a nice second. Then it happened. Once they got him back in the shed, be became a whole new horse. Nobody knew quite why he’d blossomed. Within days, he was out on the training track, working the house down. This is where the story takes off. Behind closed doors, plans were being meticulously drawn together by some of the best minds in the world of genetic engineering, to see if steps could be undertaken to redress the problem of Pint Size having no nuts. Yes my friends, he’s suffered the most unkindest cut of all. The two most powerful breeding operations in the world were quickly on the dog and bone, for the word had spread like wildfire that a diamond had been unearthed. And it was with them, that the scientists came. It was rapidly agreed that no stone should be left unturned, when it came to re-nutting poor little Pint Size. But as with all deals that are written in the tens of millions, conditions and riders are attached. Firstly, the horse had to win, and win well at his next start, and the science had to stand up, along with Pint Size’s member. The latter two could be dealt with at a later date. So it was down to business yesterday. All eyes were on the Southwell, Class Six Claiming Stakes over six furlongs, a race that offered one thousand, seven hundred and four pounds to the winner. Just the five entrants faced the starter on an overcast early evening. When the gates were released the Sardinian Sapling, Antioco Murgia jumped the little bloke straight to the front. From his rail draw, he had no trouble holding out Spring Daisy who pinged out looking for the lead. Miss Medici immediately lobbed onto the back of Pint Size, leaving Aunty Joy and Ciara Boo to whip them in. It quickly became obvious that these two were in it to avoid finishing last. By the time they had completed half the race, Pint Size had assumed control of affairs. Miss Medici had moved off the rails and pratted Spring Daisy wide. She then set sail ofter the little fella who by now had hit the home stretch and was full of running. Sitting as cold as ice, the Sapling held the new wonder horse together, while those around him flailed away in frustration. But it was to no avail. The beaten brigade, after being given the gladiatorial thumbs down, were mercilessly put to the sword by Antioco Murgia and Pint Size, a horse who now holds promise of a new found virility. As we speak, a bidding war for the services of little Pint Size has erupted between the two breeding empires. As intimated above, it’s been suggested that tens of millions of pounds are in the offing. I just hope all concerned remember back to the days of The Green Monkey. Of course the above article has nothing to do with my napping of the horse.
I am fascinated with this horse and what the handicapper will do to him now. He was rated 80 beforehand and beaten off that mark, but will the handicapper say that he has improved more and put him up for that run? I hope the handicapper is brave and leaves him on 80.
I'm not too sure what they'll do with the horse. I think it fair to say that he only beat a moderate lot, but the manner in which he spaced them in the straight was an eye opener. He led a length on straightening and ended up winning by a dozen. He got a single slap across the shoulder to keep his mind in the job. After seeing some other big space wins though, I'd be surprised if he stayed at 80.
Brilliant write up Cyc Had a tear in eye with laughter reading your 'no stone should be left unturned, when it came to re-nutting little Pint Size' line
Thanks Oddy. Strange thing was that unasked, Mick promoted it as an article, minutes later it appeared on News Now.
That News Now is an amazing idea. It posts links from just about every news source on the planet. Every 10 minutes or so, up goes a new list.
