The new Premier League winter ball has been revealed: please log in to view this image My eyes! Also, £90. That's ninety pounds, in case anyone thought that they misread that. Was this their inspiration? please log in to view this image
There's so much wrong with that one, Croydon. I wouldn't know where to start, to be honest. Even Seaman deserved better.
The proper match balls always cost about £80/90, the cheaper ones are made of different materials. It's a bit like football boots, you can get a pair that look like what the players use for about £50 but the ones they actually use cost about treble.
I'm not supposed to use the phrase "lovely lilac" but that ball really is, well, special. The worst excesses of the seventies revisted.
At least we won't see Bendtners pink boots kicking it about. Looking closely at the dark shapes on the ball, the one with the Premier League logo looks like a horses head, and if you look at it the other way it could be a giraffe's head. The one on the left looks like a snow plough, and the one at the bottom looks like a Space Shuttle. On the right, is half of a terrible pair of Y-Fronts.