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An Ode To The mackems

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by simonbh7, Apr 21, 2011.

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  1. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

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    One season, they said
    Is all we'd stay
    In the Premier League
    Then we'd be on our way

    "Back to the Championship
    Playing Scunthorpe and Hull"
    The mackems thought they were funny
    But they're so ****ing dull.

    A newly promoted team, they called us
    We'd be lucky to stay up
    They were going for bigger things
    Like the Europa Cup

    "Not one of your players
    Would get in our squad
    We have Gyan and Welbeck
    And Bent is our God"

    "We're shopping at Harrods
    At the Stadium of Light"
    So Brucey spent millions
    But bought only ****e

    On and on
    They continued to boast
    "Wait till the derby
    Then you'll be toast"

    But on the day
    We hammered their team
    And by half time
    No mackems were seen

    The away section was empty
    I've never seen such a rush
    It was like a tramps stampede
    To get back on the bus.

    "It's only one game"
    Was their cry
    As Stevie Bruce
    Wiped a tear from his eye.

    "They've got no class
    What they did was wrong.
    But when we next meet
    I'll be choosing the song"

    But in the return
    They nearly ****ed it up
    And celebrated their lucky goal
    Like they'd just won the cup.

    Bruce's face nearly burst
    Like a giant red turd
    But alas his song
    Will never be heard

    "The table doesn't Lie" they'd say
    When ahead by a point or two
    But now we're ahead of them
    This is no longer true?

    "We don't need him"
    They said about Bent
    But they've hardly won a game
    From the moment he went

    At 6th place in the league
    They thought they were in heaven
    But surely hell
    Is one point from twenty-seven

    "We've got Short, Niall,
    and in Bruce we trust"
    But now their delusion of Europe
    Has bitten the dust.

    "Bruce is taking us to next level"
    They would shout
    On Saturday they'll be chanting
    "Bruce Out! Bruce Out!"

    "Top team in the North East"
    Was their claim
    Now simply avoiding relegation
    Is their only aim

    But we all know
    Who are the North East's top dogs
    It's not the mackems
    And it's not the smogs

    And so, as the season is ending
    For another year
    Here is a thought
    That should bring you some cheer

    It's plainly obvious
    To every Newcastle fan
    That you will never, ever, ever
    See a mackem in Milan
     
    #1
    simonbh7, Apr 21, 2011
  2. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Great work fella!

    Have some rep & <ale>
     
    #2
    overseasTOON, Apr 21, 2011
  3. Heavy Metal Toon

    Heavy Metal Toon Guest

    excellent.

    Rep!
     
    #3
    Heavy Metal Toon, Apr 21, 2011
  4. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Excellent!

    Wish I could rep you more than once!
     
    #4
    Agent Bruce, Apr 21, 2011
  5. 5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE

    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant!

    That deserves some juicy rep!

    Well done! <applause>
     
    #5
    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE, Apr 21, 2011
  6. Smudger

    Smudger Active Member

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    Wonderful stuff, rep!

    EDIT: failed rep, have some verbal rep for an excellent poem.
     
    #6
    Smudger, Apr 21, 2011

  7. A November Night In Rotterdam

    A November Night In Rotterdam Active Member

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    Rep! :)
     
    #7
    A November Night In Rotterdam, Apr 21, 2011
  8. Toon_D

    Toon_D New Member

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    Brilliant, chief. Just brilliant <applause>

    100% deserves some REP <ale>
     
    #8
    Toon_D, Apr 21, 2011
  9. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    I tip my hat to you sir, top marks.<ok>:D
     
    #9
    SirBR, Apr 21, 2011
  10. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

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    Thanks very much, I'm glad you liked it.

    I have just spent a couple of hours driving back to the south coast and have been thinking about how so many of the mackems claims and boasts have been very wrong.
    Virtually everything that they boasted and predicted about our club and theirs has not happened.
    I really think that they should be consuming large quantities of humble pie.
     
    #10
    simonbh7, Apr 21, 2011
  11. Jesus Was A Geordie

    Jesus Was A Geordie Well-Known Member

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    Rep! You may never get the time it took to write that back, but it was definitely worth it!!!
     
    #11
    Jesus Was A Geordie, Apr 21, 2011
  12. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Sunderland, soon:

    please log in to view this image
     
    #12
    overseasTOON, Apr 21, 2011
  13. 5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE

    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to overseasTOON again.
     
    #13
    5 Goals 1 Hat Trick 11 Heroes-NUFC4LIFE, Apr 21, 2011
  14. Leon Bessi

    Leon Bessi Active Member

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    repped
     
    #14
    Leon Bessi, Apr 21, 2011
  15. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    It's so good, I'm tempted to stick it on my Facebook, I've a few smug mackems acquaintance :D
     
    #15
    SirBR, Apr 21, 2011
  16. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

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    Quality!!

    I would give you rep if I was allowed.
     
    #16
    simonbh7, Apr 21, 2011
  17. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Now we know why BT hasn't been on so much. He's been for lunch with Girlzilla.
     
    #17
    Agent Bruce, Apr 21, 2011
  18. Obertan's Rancid Toe

    Obertan's Rancid Toe Well-Known Member

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    the most rep-worthy thread of all time
     
    #18
    Obertan's Rancid Toe, Apr 21, 2011
  19. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

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    Or has he been lunch for her!!!
     
    #19
    simonbh7, Apr 21, 2011
  20. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    deserved rep for the ballad
     
    #20
    TheLittleGeordie, Apr 21, 2011
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