For the past few years I've taken the piss out of one of our office girls who's an Arsenal supporter by sending her a spoof invitation to the Arsenal FC 'End of season dinner & dance' with an attached menu. Over the years it has grown to be quite revealing, updated annually with specific jibes. It usually gets sent out in March as they've gone out in the Quarters of the Champion's most seasons, this is the first that has been sent out in February: Your personal invitation to: Arsenal F.C. End of Season Dinner & Dance Menu Starters: Eggs Milanese (Egg on Face) Seasoned Hash Frogs Legs (past their best) Italien Surprise (well beaten) Main Courses: Humble Pie Chump Chops French (has) Beans Manager’s Beef (not rare) N.B. everything is imported, nothing is home grown. Desserts: Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow) Fruitless Tarts with Arshavin cream (Russian recipe) Raspberry Fools Djourou’s Swiss Cheese ‘Defense’ (Full of holes) Drinks: Bitter Little Spirit French Whine Cabernet Empty 2006 Cabernet Empty 2007 Cabernet Empty 2008 Cabernet Empty 2009 Cabernet Empty 2010 Cabernet Empty 2011 Cabernet Empty 2012 Champagne – sorry, none ordered STRICTLY NO DOUBLES OR TREBLES N.B. drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year. Advance orders now taken on Cabernet Empty 2013 for next year.
Bit harsh to pick on the Gooners of course given our season so far. Some recipe suggestions for the R's: American style eggs (turned over easy) Cisse Surprise (slips straight down your neck) Roast pork, no crackling (forgot the scoring) Black Burned Toast McCarthy's Swan (song) Joey's Nuts Turkey a la Hulse Campbell's extra light chicken soup
