An Affair to Remember

Anyone ever done the nasty on their wife/girlfriend? Or had it done to them?

 

Nope, av never cheated on any wummin that I've been in a relationship with. As far as I know, I haven't been cheated on either.

 

Aye I've cheated quite frequently as I'm a bit of a scoundrel and love variety

 

Never cheated on Mrs Pud ...

An ex girlfriend, I went out with for about two years, was shagging another guy towards the end. I was going to punch his **** in till I saw him, he was built like a ****in tank!!!

When I was younger, I usually "cheated" when I had a burd ... regular shagging with burd n then "strange" on a night out!

 

When I was in the Army and away from the wife I was quite the shagger. Even shagged a few birds too.

 

I shagged my ex-girlfriend's sister but that was more of a revenge thing after we split up so I don't know if it would count

 

Nope, I've not cheated and I don't think my present or past girlfriends have either.

I've had opportunities but have rejected them and that can be really difficult when intoxicated.

 

.

 

My mams friend went on a two week romantic holiday, to celebrate their anniversay, with her husband when after a day or two he told her that when they got back he'd be leaving her.......for a man!!! You'd think he would have waited till they got home! God knows what the rest of the holiday would have been like! Awwwkkkwaaaaard!!!!

 

I would never cheat on Jiffy although I'm sure he was shagging his uncle Frank on and off for a few years .

He's a wee minx so he is .

 

The last bird i was seeing reasonably regularly was shagging quite a few blokes when i wasn't there - still, prostitutes have to make a living like anyone else......

 

So did she know you were a prozzie Dan ?

 

Dan earns a lot of money selling his body. He's a niche market that targets a certain type of man who remembers a cartoon from the 80's and likes to shout "I have the power!" when blasting him up the **** pipe.

 

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Christ, you're an unfunny hun ****er. No wonder Mrs Aldo wishes it was you.

 

Aye ah do.

 

Tina has moobs?

 

The weans Ma went with another fella when we were near finished, thought she was a ****, didn't give a f**k about him <OrangeBastard>.

I hade done the dirty once or twice myself without her finding out so taking the moral high ground was fantastic

 

Hun ! How dare you !

You know full well that to be a peado I must be a tim . Thems the rules .

Any more of that talk and there will be no easter eggs for you sonny .