Spot someone in West stand standing up to sing, as opposed to going to the loo, going home, or adjusting the blanket over their legs - award yourself 8 points. Spot a pigeon landing on the pitch - award yourself 11 points. Spot a supporter who moves from South stand and sits in the vast spaces of North stand - award yourself 6 points. Spot a dog invading the pitch and being chased Benny Hill style by a midfielder (of either team) who gives up and lets a central defender bring the dog to heel via a crude rugby tackle - award yourself 13 points (but don't phucking cheat and bring your own dog minus points will be awrded if you do). Spot an OAP (male of female) supporter berating the ref or lino over a player (either team) stealing yards at a throw in. Note simply wafting an arm and pointing to where the thow in shopuld be taken from, gets no points. There has to be swearing involved. - award yourself 15 points. Spot any supporter with a black and amber bobble hat - award yourself - 6 points. Spot Colin ****** in the ground, home or away, award yourself -3 points. (OK edit Police .. Neil Warnock) Spot a supporter who didn't return the ball to the field of play during the game, with the ball stuck up his/hers tight fitting replica jersey - either team and trying to sneak out of the ground with it at home time- award your self 2 points. Keep your own tally during the season. After the Forest game at home, put your totals on here and let's see who gets the most.
Ten points if you can find someone 'serving' at half time on the concourse who is remotely interested. Five bonus points if you get served in under fifteen minutes from joining the queue .
Thirty points if you see that little fat ****er with the streaks in his hair from Goole Tigers. Points can only be won if you 'challenge ' his behaviour . Threats of violence or to actually carry out a physical assault are optional. Five points per tooth or broken bone .
100 points if you see a manager giving team tactics to the players, making decent substitutions , in fact acting like a manager.
