Then ties the shopping bag over your head while spanking your arse with a wire coat hanger. Sorry, I must stop reading your wife's diary.
There's summat that's been really bothering me. See the Lidl advert? Is the jingle the burd sings on it "All these Lidl things"? A play on Lidl/little? Whit a stupit ****in jingle. Come in to oor shop for all our little merchandise. Really been annoying me that has. Perhaps I should stop drinking.