Think it's time for me to retire from being an offshore tiger. These bleedin' paraffin budgies are developing faults all over the place. And yet again it's one of the assets that I frequent. Think I'll leave it to the young pups like Venom. http://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/3392555
I was on a Monday-Monday rotation the two years I did up there. Thank **** for that, the guys later in the week always got bumped.
When you're on the rigs, is there any raping that goes on? Like, any predatory gay bears poking folk's arses while they sleep? That sorta ****?
Depends on your contract. Some folk get the same rate, some get a bit extra if it effects their time off. To be fair getting paid £300 minimum a day to sit and watch TV or play pool because the chopper is delayed isn't really a hardship but it's something to moan about nonetheless.
Every **** just ****s like the world is ending. Twice I've caught dirty auld ****ers ****ing on their bunk like demented chimps.
Of course. It's mandatory. Same with the female on female muff diving action. Hetereosexual relationships are frowned upon however.
Are there real women on the rigs? I thought they were pseudo-women. Like the moustachioed things you get on Shetland.
I was offshore with a bird that was in High Street Honeys. Everyone wanted in the gym the same time as her. The wee handyman on there was in her cabin changing light-bulbs. **** was sniffing her panties and took a pube out her bed and kept it in his notebook. <boak>
Two of the most attractive girls I have come across (ooh er missus) have been offshore. They're not all munters. If you see the state of some of the blokes it's a wonder the choppers can actually get off the ground. So it's not for us to pooh pooh them.
I must admit, my image of the rigs (from tales from two family members that worked on them - one was a chef, one was an engineer), was of hairy arsed men in a big box together and social skills being at a bit of a premium. On the upside, I once got a fridge off the one that was a chef once for fuc-kall when I was about 21 - he never really explained where it came from but I can't imagine he sneaked it onto a chopper off the rig.
One of the ESS lassies on the Cormorant was a stunner, just a pity she was cursed with a thick Broch accent They need to make the medical more stringent. If you're a massive bloater who can't get out through a helicopter window then find another job. All these people blaming the choppers as being the only part to blame, some of them are wheezing ****s who cannae climb a set of stairs.
He could have put it in a container then onto a ship but that's pretty unlikely. When I was full time offshore there was a prick who always played the guitar when folk were playing cards or darts. He took a wobbler when the two guitars were "stolen" He was saying they'd been nicked and put in a container. They found them hidden in some roof tiles during accommodation upgrades, someone had hidden them because they were sick of his ****ty strumming
