What has been the best bit of advice you have ever been given? What was the best bit of advice you have given to someone else?
"Put the noose around your neck and stand at the top of the stairs. When the bitch comes in, she'll be so full of remorse that she'll sook ye aff right there - it cannae fail, mate - it's an absolute winner."
If there's no grass on the pitch turn her around and play in the mud. Was told this by some priest in a cross community project when I was a kid, still no idea what it means.
Always take a jonny when you're out on the prowl, just cos it's rape doesn't mean you should get careless