http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport...-of-leicester-fans-imagination-20160501108481 THE Premier League has celebrated Leicester City’s fairytale title win by warning smaller teams not to get any ideas. The League has greeted Leicester’s 5,000-1 win, which has captivated sports fans around the world, as a wonderful opportunity to promote more established brands like Manchester United. A spokesman said: “Wow, what an incredible one-off, fluke victory for a club nobody expected to win, with the emphasis very much on one-off and fluke. “Who knows what could happen next year? Will it be Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, or Spurs, or will we be forced to take legal action? “Settle down, Swansea City. Calm yourselves, Crystal Palace. The Premier League is not to be won by UK-owned teams who have done nothing to build their fanbase in Eastern markets. “A reputation as a league where low-spending minnows can consistently triumph means less money for all of us. “La la la, magical fairytale sprinkling stardust. Right. Dreams away. Back to work.” please log in to view this image A LEICESTER City fan has confirmed that the birth of his first child was only a minor mood-lifter compared to last night’s title win. Steven Malley of Eyres Monsell, a father of three, admitted that he thought the moment his son entered the world was good at the time, but only because he had never experienced anything truly momentous. He continued: “I mean I’ve had three kids, so by the last one it was getting pretty routine. “I vividly remember the moment when my first, George, first filled his lungs with air and cried and tears filled my eyes, but I was over it in ten minutes. Not like last night. “The whole pub erupting in euphoria at Eden Hazard, a bloody Chelsea player for Christ’s sake, scoring in the 83rd minute and well, puts childbirth in its place really. “There are kids being born all over the world every day, but this is Leicester’s first title in their 132-year history, so just on the numbers it’s inarguable.” Malley added: “Mind you, I might have another one. Just so I can call it Claudio.” please log in to view this image ALL of human existence is the dream of a Leicester City fan and will expire the moment he wakes up. Foxes fan Nathan Muir fell asleep several hours ago after finishing a bottle of wine and began enjoying a nocturnal, Roy Of The Rovers-type fantasy that his inexpensively assembled team mounted an astonishing challenge for the League title. A sombre President Barack Obama said: “This is the greatest challenge humanity has ever faced. We may be only hours away from complete extinction. “For too long we have failed to acknowledge that a world in which Jamie Vardy was top scorer in the Premier League could not possibly be real in any way. “We must work together to find some way of keeping Nathan Muir asleep so as to prolong our own existence. We must avoid any sudden noises which might wake him up.” Obama added: “We must also be alert to warning signs, such as our world currently being transformed into a caravan site run by talking otters, or an erotic scenario involving the girl who works at the newsagents.” please log in to view this image http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport...-of-leicester-fans-imagination-20160501108481
