A History Lesson

[1] THEN the twenty years of plenty came to an end and twenty years of famine set in. [2] The land was barren: nothing flourished, and no glory came upon the Kopites. [3] And the Kopites saw the glory of their neighbours to the east, the Devil-Worshippers, and consumed with envy, they saw the wealth of the Philistines in the south, who were Muscovites from the house of Chav. [4] Then the Kopites suffered bitterly, and grievously did they pity themselves. [5] And the people came unto the Lord, wailing and rending their garments, which were made from shells. [6] And the Lord said, “Why are you come before me, crying and wailing? Wherefore do you rend your garments that are made from shells?” [7] And the people cried, “Behold, O Lord, we suffer bitterly, like. [8] For Thou hast brought wealth upon the Philistines, and glory to the Devil-Worshippers up the road; but in thy anger thou hast forsaken us Kopites, what were once blessed in thy sight and that.” [9] But the Lord replied, “How is it that I have forsaken you, when I have poured such bounty upon your heads?” [10] But when the people looked about them they saw no riches, nor the shining trophies of battle. And they protested unto the Lord, crying, “Where is this bounty then, O Lord, of which Thou fùchen speakest?” [11] And the Lord replied, “Yea, the bounty of the Lord is as the rain that is drained into the sands of the desert. For it is all gone on the likes of Bruno Cheyrou.” [12] But the people wept, and they no longer had faith in the Lord and banished him from their sight. [13] And the Lord went from that place, and two new Lords “G” and “H” came from the new world in the West. [14] And the new Lords said that they would lead the people to salvation. [15] Then the people bent over before them, and were overjoyed, raising their voices in praise and saying, “We’re proper
sorted now, la. We’re gonna win the league.” [16] Now it had come to pass in this time that they exalted the prophet Raphael “The giver of food and drinks from Madrid” who was their leader. [17] For under his rule they had fought a battle of many nations, and in the land of Lud they strove against the Berlusconians. [18] And lo, though they were almost destroyed, they fought back and vanquished the enemy, thanks to Stevie G. [19] Then the Kopites made an idol of Raphael, proclaiming that he was their saviour and that by his sword they would come forth in the land. [20] But in the end they came fifth. [21] Now when they saw that the might of the Kopites was nigh restored, all the tribes trembled. [22] But the King of the Devil-Worshippers did not tremble: he was crafty, and in his wisdom he sent madness upon Raphael. [23] Then Raphael became as a man only of dreams, speaking in tongues and seeing visions. [24] And he squandered the wealth of the people on lame and useless servants. [25] For he brought to their camp El Zhar and N’gog, Degen and Bar-Ragan. And he brought Yossi the Israelite, who had first settled west of the land of Ham, and Babel, in whose name men built a tower. [26] And he brought many, many, many more. [27] And soon Raphael feared to venture forth, lest he be vanquished, but exhorted his servants only to defend the camp. [28] Then all the tribes came to loathe the Kopites, because they were so boring. [29] So the people came before the two Lords and said, “Won’t Ye tight Yanks giz some ackers, that Raphael may bring further glory to the people?” [30] And the Lords G and H replied in unity, “Behold, We have given him millions and millions of shekels. But in his madness, he spent it on Glen the son of John, and Aquilani the lame and broken Roman. And lo, he squandered it on Josemites. Now the bounty of the Lords is gone, for he hath spurned it on absolute garbage.” [31] But the people were not satisfied, and they wrote screeds of righteous indignation, and kept telling tales about ‘net spend’. [32] So the Lords cast out Raphael, and sent for the Grand Prophet Woy, renowned for his steady hand and his outstretched arm and his good relations with the press. [33] But the people were in mourning for Raphael: they loved him greatly and pitied him. And they did pity also themselves. [34] For they were blind to his madness, seeing only his triumph against the Berlusconians years before. [35] And Wise Woy was now an old man, and the Kopites lost countless battles. [36[ And the people went berserk, and threatened to come into the house of the Lords and do them harm. [37] But it came to pass that they were skint, and soon the moneylenders drove them from the temple. [38] And so yet another came from the new world, Lord Henry stood over the Kopites, and he cast aside Woy and sent for an ancient King who had lead the Kopites a full score years before. [39] Then the people rejoiced, and cried, “This time we’re pure fùchen sorted, la. We’re gonna win the league.”
[40] And it came to pass that there was much laughter across the land.

AMEN

 

“This time we’re pure fùchen sorted, la. We’re gonna win the league.”

Brilliant, that and the whole article haha.

Amen and praise Lord Fergie.

 

A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

This is fuchen epic la

 

Ha ha Classic

 

Brilliant.F Rose

 

Pure class