7 Players Toon SHOULD Target... According To JPF

1. Michu. Unhappy at Swansea since the Laudrup debacle, and although at 29 is not in line with our transfer policy (do we have a policy? Do we even have a transfer intention?), he is a good footballer who may suit Steve's style of play, and importantly, he is available for around the same price Swansea paid to bring him to the league, which is peanuts.

When exactly was the last time we had a attacking midfielder who could score a goal? Nolan. Since then, if our players ever do get into crossing position, they are left with a choice of midget Perez or... Wait.... Wait... Wait..... Wait.... Wait.................................. There's Colback .

Chance of it happening? Unlikely, as there is interest from his native Spain, and although it's from pretty **** clubs, even they'd pay more wages than we would.

2. Demba Ba, also 29.... Mooted returns to England on the cards for Demba, and outside of the top 4, any club would be better with Demba in the side. Demba Ba >>> Austin.

Chances? Not bad. We got him once before, and he's done the bench thing. The only problem is, there'd be a fee this time, AND the wages, and those knees aren't getting better. I still think he's worth a punt.

3. Andros Townsend. Massively overrated since he stepped inside and put one past a couple of **** International keepers, but a winger nonetheless, and an unfancied winger at his own club, more to the point. If we signed someone like Townsend, then misfiring Cabella can move inside and focus more on dribbling and through-balls, rather than crossing, which he has absolutely no aptitude for.

4. Alexandre Lacazette. Fits the clubs former transfer intention, ostensibly french, young, and something to prove in a better league than Ligue 1. Fast, direct running, composed finishing, and can be used as a wide-man. He would probably cost the most of any player on the list I have composed, but he's pretty much like an uncultured version of Henry in my eyes.

5. Sven Van Beek. Feynoord youngster who stepped up under Koeman (probably a more likely target for him than us). He's spent time as an outfield player, so his general play and passing etc is good, which makes me think he's better than us

6. Benjamin Mendy. Young left back for Marseille. My personal interpretation is that he is a gem of a player who I think will represent the French National team regularly in future, and would certainly put right an area we badly need to strengthen. Yes, it's another French youngster in that area, but he's a top talent and has resale value, so a potential go-er. He can put in a cross as well, by the way!

7. Bjorn Engels. This young centre back is absolutely ginormous, and would replace the massive hole in our hearts left by Willo's departure (has he gone yet? ).... He's just another in a long line of talented Belgians rolling of the production line over there, and would be worth looking at.

Like a young, Belgian Willo

Although I never saw Willo do that..... Fair enough he got sent off for it, but fantastic tackle!


I know, I know, none of them will be coming to us this year, but it'll be interesting seeing where these lads go and what they achieve. I think if we signed a couple of them, it would have a massive impact in terms of quality and depth, but I know there are cheaper alternatives. Players like Andrew Robertson (who, for the record, is pretty decent... but still) and Shaun Wright-Phillips...

Anyway, I thought I'd share my list with you lot, what do you reckon? Who would you be looking at, excluding those we've been linked with thus far...

 

Pretty much no to all of these - only ones I might say yes are the ones I have never heard of

No point spending money on Michu - we have SDJ!
No thanks to Ba - got what he deserved.
Andros....hmmm....jury is out but for the price the SPuds would want, no thank you.
Lacazette - no, not because I don't want him but we can't afford him.

Mendy - I trust you that he is good and we can sign him,
The other two, never heard of so why not, get them too!

 

Pah, your list is pish compared to our superstar first signing - Ivan Toney.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/newcastle-close-ivan-toney-transfer-6002319?

Apparently EVERYONE's been after this future superstar - even WOLVES. £300k means we've eaten 1/3rd of the Summer's budget, but at least we've got one of the needed strikers over the line.

 

3 goals in 16 league appearances for Northampton? #goalmachine

 

I love the casual suggestion that we are imminently signing Georginio Wijnaldum. News that if true is understandably eclipsed by the far more headline worthy signing of Ivan Toney.

 

1. Michu - Yes, but sadly no hope.
2. Demba Ba - Continuing on his quest for ultimate mercenary status he has just signed for the mighty and prestigious Shanghai Shenhua
3. Andros Townsend - Tottenham always want too much for their cast offs.
4. Alexandre Lacazette - They'll be asking for a lot more than 18million Euros this summer. Boat missed.
5. Sven Van Beek - I'd have to take your word on it.
6. Benjamin Mendy - See Beeky above.
7. Bjorn Engels - Any comparison with Williamson. No.

 

I even missed that bit! Brilliant - PSV's title-winning captain? Nah, we've taken The Cobblers legend Toney.