2012 Olympics

100 metres in under 10 seconds might be out of our league, but which event at next year's Olympics do you feel you could have a go at and not make a total arse of yourself? (Cue jokes about women's beach volleyball......zzzzzzzzzzzzz!)

What about shooting when all you need to do is wear a hat backwards and stick a bit of white paper over one of your eyes?

Or the javelin or hammer? Plenty of maddies from Drumchapel will have had a ton of experience with those.

What do you reckon you could do?

 

The cycling road race

 

The 50m crawl in the swimming. I'd be as slow as fuk.

 

I could pump this in less than 10 seconds

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I have to agree with you there.

 

I'd shag you, shagging her

 

You'd be only too happy to trail behind that

 

10 Seconds?

Show off.

I'd probably blow it all over her thighs on the way in.

 

i could do the javelin

 

All the way?

Impressive.

 

..if it was curling it could go in one end and out the other...

 

I'd probably give the archery a go - it's just posh people's darts .

 

I did archery. Difficult unless you have done it before.

 

I wasn't being entirely serious......... but yes I have no doubts that it's not as easy as it sometimes looks - pretty much same as any target based sport or passtime.

 

Dwarf tossing

 

I can pish into the toilet bowl from 4 feet away.

 

Otherwise known as dwarf molestation.

 

I'm the pub champion round my bit. Basically it's a contest to see who can bring a dwarf to ejaculate first. I always pick the ugliest nerdiest one, the good looking ones all have regular sex so don't have a reservoir of tainted semen.

 

Good to see somone taking their sport seriously and thinking it through.

 

I'm short, can I volunteer? Depends on who is doing the tossing though, don't fancy mixed doubles much.