1000’th post. Something “extra” needed. Thought that an article to reminisce on football anecdotes might be an idea. The things I have seen in my time aren’t always funny but are sometimes just weird or inexplicable but could only happen at a football match. To get things started. A few seasons back I went to see the Toon play away at Everton. Was in the Upper Tier of the away section in the Bullen Road Stand about 8 or 9 rows back. Anyone who has been to Everton will readily agree that the ground is at best “tired” and the facilities shocking. I’ll not mention the squeeze to get into the toilets; I’ll not mention the desperately vomit smelling pies; I’ll not even mention the Everton fan in the adjacent Park Stand who seemed intent on “inviting” on an individual basis every Toon fan in the ground to “meet” him outside both prior to the match and during half time to the extent that he had to go for his half time pint after the second half started. No, I’ll mention the extremely peculiar and distinct style of stewarding. As anybody who has been to an away game knows the first rule of being an away fan is “you do not sit, you stand” at all times. That is both before the game and during the game. After entering the ground to see one Toon fan coming down the stairs in somewhat of a panic shouting to those queuing to enter “divnn’t come in, there’s nee beer” we found our seats and stood as was everybody else. As kick off time approached the away end filled up with everyone, yes you’ve guessed it standing. About five minutes before kick off there was a bit of a discussion between the stewards who had congregated around the top of the stairs where the Toon Army was coming in. After a moment two stewards were seen to go down the steps to the front row of the Upper Tier. They then headed along the front row towards the corner nearest the Everton fans having to say excuse me to each standing Toon fan to get passed them until they reached the fan that was stood in front of the corner seat in the front row. There then ensued two or three minutes of heated argument between the two stewards and that fan with the fan pointing to everyone around him. In all honesty I have no idea what that argument was about but at the end of it the Toon fan sat down but still shouting and swearing at the stewards. The consensus around me was that the stewards were embarked upon getting all the Toon fans to sit down especially when the fan sat down with everyone laughing as to the small prospect of that being done successfully. But no, the two stewards, job done, then proceeded to say excuse me to each of the still standing Toon fans in the front row as they returned back to the other stewards congregated near to the staircase entrance and all spoke quietly and nodding agreement to a job well done leaving all the other Toon fans standing save for that one fan sat swearing violently at the stewards. Why had they done it? To this day I haven’t a clue but it didn’t stop everyone around me laughing at the poor fan who was the only one sat down in the entire away end, well at least he was for the first half but he did get to stand in the second half without any further grief from the stewards. Only at a football match. Anyone else want to share a funny, weird or simply totally inexplicable incident at or on route to an away game?
That's bizarre I can only assume he was mental..are you sure he was toon and not a known Scouse who had got in our end? Might explain why they had a word with solely him I dunno that really odd Also
One of the funniest incidents I've seen at a match was at Burnley in the early 80's. Hundreds of Geordies walking along the road near to kick off, I stopped to get a burger. In those days the burger sellers used to wear white coats and stood in front of a little oven type thing selling their stuff. Anyway, a row took place when a black and white accused the burger seller of short changing him. This went on for a couple of minutes until the Geordie and his mates had had enough. They picked up the bottles of squeezy sauce and mustard and covered him from head to foot! All you could see was the whites of his eyes. Hilarious!
On route to away games has thrown up many incidents over the years especially in the 70s/80s. Here's a few of my favourites, with one of my mates always at the forefront of things. Cambridge United : Train to Peterborough, and then onto Cambridge, where we lost him. F*** knows where he went and what happened, but he never got to the game. The next time we saw him was back at Peterborough Railway Station later on that night, minus his upper clothing with only his jeans remaining and they were cut now cut off at the knees. Apparently he was caught on barbed wire after being chased by the coppers. Grimsby Town : Three of us, headed off to Grimsby in his very old Mini Clubman. It, the thing, broke down a couple of times, until eventually, we got as far as the Humber Bridge, where it stopped once and for all. Only one thing for it, push it over the bridge (in pissing down rain),a long bridge at that any avoid towing fees. Anyway, after about 10mins along comes a tow truck, only to tell us that there wouldn't be a charge and towed it back to the Northern end of the bridge. We were drenched and he was dry sitting in the car all this time. Train back to the Toon and never got to the game. Chelsea : We used to get the overnight mail train to London, twice to Chelsea, 0-4, then 0-6. Crap games obviously, but, will never forget chasing the chickens around Covent Garden Market at 6:00am after some were inadvertently let loose by him. Swansea : I blame him for all his cursed luck at the time, but we spent 10 hours on a bus to Swansea only for the game to get called off a couple of hours before KO. They actually played the game the following day on the Sunday and we won 3-2. Not that I saw any of it as I came back on the Saturday night. If memory serves me right, he managed to stop down for the night. Twat. And then there was our first visit to Sunderland, to the ramshackle of a ****hole, otherwise known as Joker Park in 1977. We drew 2-2 as it happens with two late goals including a belter from Tommy Craig that shut the unwashed c**** up. This was probably the day that my hatred of Sunderland began, much to do with the bottles and bricks that were being thrown from the streets into our fans as were caged in the Roker End after the game. The walk back to Seaburn Station was basically a running battle. Derby Day two years ago was a Teddy Bears Picnic compared to what we used to go through. Pleased to have a good mate with me that day. Sadly, I didn't have enough away days with Bri as he passed away suddenly at the age of 25. RIP mate.
are you sure that was at Burnley ?? we had the same problem at Man U, where the vendor was given a tenner and said my mate only gave him a fiver (it was defo a tenner I had given him it only 5 minutes earlier, he had paid for the train fares down) my mate was well pissed off, picked up the tomato ketchup bottles and covered him in ketchup, then launched the empty bottles down the street the daft thing was he just stood there and got covered in it my mate didn't get his burger either
HDQ ~ I'm pretty sure it was Burnley, but the way you described it, it could have been Man Utd. Aye, the bloke just stood there and let it happen. He knew he couldn't do anything about it. I'll never forget the whites of his eyes as long as I live.
Remember when I lived in Lancaster and was still at school in the mid 70's I used to go and watch Lancaster City play. They were in the Northern Premier League then I think. Used to be a small stand but most people stood round the railing round pitch. Remember one guy giving the team some stick when his false teeth dropped out and fell in a puddle. He just picked them up without a pause and carried on with the insult he was in the middle of. Lived in York after that before I went off to University and used to watch all their home games and even get to a few away games. So it was natural when I was back in York staying with my parents for Christmas, with my Indonesian wife and the two kids (then 5 and 6), that I would take the kids to their first game at York. Great thing about the lower division games is that you can hear most of the insults from the crowd and probably the players can too. Anyway there was a woman behind us giving the referee some stick with some very choice language. The kids were quite enjoying this and didn't say anything about it to me then. When their grandad asked them whether they enjoyed the game they said they did but asked him what a dickhead was.
First story makes me think of a Bradford City v Carlisle game I went to in the 1970's which might have been an FA Cup game and for the first time at a "professional" game I saw the fans swap ends at half time. The two sets of fans had been giving each other the usual "grief" and banter in the first half and then almost as if pre-arranged walked round opposite sides to swap ends whilst still giving each other "grief". I had been stood with the Bradford fans chatting away and when half time came I went with them to the other end "as was expected". Had seen it at Amateur games as followed Whitley Bay at the time but never in the "big" leagues.
