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Off Topic Sexual Self Abuse

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016.

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  1. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    Sadly It's on the increase

    Starting with me of course I am a wonker but who else out there is guilty

    My starter for ten

    Piers Morgan is a ****er

    Next ...
     
    #1
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
  2. finglasqpr

    finglasqpr Well-Known Member

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    Jeez Dave. What a topic to discuss. Sounds like you are very bored.
     
    #2
    finglasqpr, Dec 5, 2016
  3. YappyR

    YappyR Well-Known Member

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    Any twat who uses their smartphones to browse the not-so-savoury pages and also who uses it with Dating Apps and staring at psycho birds on Instagram and Snapchat etc. It's all a total mind-feck <laugh> and the highest self-abuse of any category as it's about the brain, the highest sexual sensor :emoticon-0130-devil
     
    #3
    YappyR, Dec 5, 2016
    Windom Earle likes this.
  4. sb_73

    sb_73 Well-Known Member

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    You sound very knowledgeable on this topic.
     
    #4
    sb_73, Dec 5, 2016
    Deleted and Sooperhoop like this.
  5. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    Not at all working hard here
    Background news story about Piers Morgan slagging off a winner on the jungle show

    Now I have met him two or three times when we young and he was doing everything then to become famous. I worked with a man who was neighbours with him and when I met him he was a giant ****ter
     
    #5
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    piers or the neighbour
     
    #6
    kiwiqpr, Dec 5, 2016
  7. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    The Tosser
    Rob my old mate lived next to him in Newick East Sussex
     
    #7
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
  8. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    Is Teressa May a ****er?
     
    #8
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
  9. QPR Oslo

    QPR Oslo Well-Known Member

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    I think she's Margaret Thatcher's sister. Whichever way up.
     
    #9
    QPR Oslo, Dec 5, 2016
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  10. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    #10
    Didley Squat, Dec 5, 2016

  11. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    Now now MT made it very clear that she was not for turning although she did admit to growing a small penis in between her breasts

    TM (the clue is in the initials) could be the result of self impregnation ... not impossible in a downward dog position
     
    #11
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
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  12. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    I bet you think this song is about you
     
    #12
    Wherever, Dec 5, 2016
  13. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Don't you
     
    #13
    Wherever, Dec 5, 2016
  14. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I can remember my very first sexual experience.



    It was terrifying.



    It was dark and I was on my own. :)
     
    #14
    Uber_Hoop, Dec 5, 2016
  15. Windom Earle

    Windom Earle Well-Known Member

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    Another great contribution to entertainment from the miserable ****er
     
    #15
    Windom Earle, Dec 5, 2016
  16. QPR999

    QPR999 Well-Known Member
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    I rather strangely found myself lurking in the shadows earlier this evening, reminiscent of a Haymarket Hector. When all of a sudden I was propositioned by a voice in the dark ... ''What sort of Brexit would you like?'' begged the question from an alleyway a mere ten yards away.
    I pondered this for a moment. I looked right and I looked left, I stroked my chin in ponderous thought and gazed at the stars on this crisp and cold December night.

    After some degree of perilous indignation I declared that I would prefer a soft or flaccid Brexit, whereas a big and hard Brexit might deem itself far too painful.
     
    #16
    QPR999, Dec 5, 2016
    NorwayRanger, Windom Earle, Uber_Hoop and 4 others like this.
  17. Kilburn

    Kilburn Well-Known Member

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    That conjured up some Bowie musical accompaniment:-



     
    #17
    Kilburn, Dec 6, 2016
  18. GoldhawkRoad

    GoldhawkRoad Well-Known Member

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    Two great tracks there, Kilburn. I hadn't heard Shadow Man before. Haunting, particularly listening now, with Bowie gone and after all the years since it was written.
     
    #18
    GoldhawkRoad, Dec 6, 2016
  19. qprted

    qprted Poet Laureate

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    SADLY I WAS TOP WXXXXXX BUT UNFORTUNATELY AT 62 YEARS OF AGE IM LEFT WITH A BUTTON MUSHROOM
    I WENT TO THE DOCTOR GET SOME VIAGRA I WAS SO EXITED LAYING THERE IN THE BEDROOM
    BUT TO MY GREAT SADNESS NOT EVEN A LITTLE REACTION
    THATS I T I THOUGHT THE END OF ANY SEXUAL ACTION
    SO NOW I DRIVE AS POORLY AS I CAN SO PEOPLE WILL SCREAM AT ME AT THE TOP OF THERE VOICE YOU WXXXER
    I FEEL LIKE DRIVING DOWN TO BEACHY HEAD AND TYING MY PRIVATES TO AND ANCHOR
    SAYING GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD,ITS SO SO VERY SAD
    ANYWAY ENOUGH OF ME DOES ANYBODY ELSE HERE SUFFER LIKE THIS I HOPE ITS NOT JUST ME THAT WOULD BE SAD
    OVER TO YOU KIWI
    ARE YOU THE SAME OR IS IT JUST ME
     
    #19
    qprted, Dec 6, 2016
  20. qprted

    qprted Poet Laureate

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    LOVE LOVE LOVE
     
    #20
    qprted, Dec 6, 2016
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