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Off Topic Today, l Woke Up &......

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by Didley Squat, Jul 24, 2016.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I had one of those in the post about a month ago. Really good idea.
     
    #181
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 11, 2016
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  2. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    Today I woke up... thank f"ck!

    I had another one of my burt Reynolds nightmares...

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    I always just wake up before the nightmare gets worse and turns into smokey and the bum bandit....<laugh>
     
    #182
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  3. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator Forum Moderator

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    That's just wrong on so many levels man ^ <laugh>
     
    #183
    San Diego, Sep 12, 2016
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  4. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    You need to either ...................

    1 - Get laid.
    2 - Get a date and get laid.
    3 - Find a service worker ........... and get laid.
     
    #184
    Didley Squat, Sep 12, 2016
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  5. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    I can accept a hairy chest but that armpit
     
    #185
    Wherever, Sep 12, 2016
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  6. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    I had this idea of posting about waking up with a massive hangover, and being at a loss and scared about this big fat hairy woman in my bed. Anyway I literally typed into Google "big fat hairy woman" and clicked on images.

    I p1ssed myself laughing as in amongst the selection of fat woman pics there he was. It was destiny, Burt was calling out to me<laugh>

    So being the sick and twisted idiot I am the wake up post instantly changed into the bum bandit one, much better comedy value than fat hairy lady post plan a.

    It just kind of happend all by itself, I'm actually quite proud of my work with this effort. Sorry wrong word effort, no effort ever goes into my posts, the guff just comes naturally as I'm full of sh!t<diva><laugh>
     
    #186
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  7. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    I'm getting my ten min a week of laid when she is not doing headaches.

    And it's not premature ejaculation, no I'm just gifted with lightning fast reactions<laugh>

    Even when your getting the good stuff on a healfy regular basis you can never have enough nookie. If most blokes had the option of as much sex with as many diffrnt woman as poss then I would be f#cking my way around the world. You know taking in all the different cultures and climates. I would probably give most of the middle east region a miss mind.<laugh>
     
    #187
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  8. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    Anyway Aussie, watch out as the Barnsley forum very dodgy Burt mascot is waiting for you move...

    burty.jpg EDIT: supposed to be me, not my... See the thought of Aussie has made Burt all ditzy and cant get the right words out...
     
    #188
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  9. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    Now that surly is a thread killer bit of posting as it should be done!
     
    #189
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Today I woke up not thinking about Burt Reynolds or hairy women :shocked: :)
     
    #190
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 12, 2016
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  11. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

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    Anyway, don't knock Burt, I thought he was great in StarWars<cool>
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    That's not what the Barnsley forum hairy lady just told me as she says....

    missing.jpg
     
    #191
    UTRs, Sep 12, 2016
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    [QUOTE="Greg (UTR's) That's not what the Barnsley forum hairy lady just told me as she says....

    View attachment 57786 [/QUOTE]

    Blimey, that's one hairy lady !! <yikes>

    She hasn't phoned, she hasn't written, I reckon she was just using me.....
     
    #192
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2016
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  13. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Today I woke up and it really was 6
     
    #193
    Wherever, Sep 13, 2016
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  14. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator Forum Moderator

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    Today I woke up, read this page and wished I hadn't <nightmaresforever> <laugh>
     
    #194
    San Diego, Sep 13, 2016
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    How do you think I feel - I was merely used as a sexual plaything :emoticon-0127-lipss
     
    #195
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 13, 2016
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  16. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator Forum Moderator

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    Yeah, like any man would complain about that <whistle>
     
    #196
    San Diego, Sep 13, 2016
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  17. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    So were QPR ...... They copped it right up the ......
     
    #197
    Didley Squat, Sep 14, 2016
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  18. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

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    Without protection or lubrication
     
    #198
    Wherever, Sep 14, 2016
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    <yikes>

    I woke up this morning and smelt the coffee.
     
    #199
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 14, 2016
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  20. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

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    I was just happy to wake up .... everything else is a bonus.
     
    #200
    Didley Squat, Sep 15, 2016
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