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This is a thread about how I think the whole Joey Barton situation is a bit odd.

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Mod Face, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. Mod Face

    Mod Face Well-Known Member

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    Personally I feel that Mike Ashley and Joey Barton should just kiss and make up, go on a family picnic together or something. If they could go through a movie-montage of some sort I'm sure they'd be best of friends by the end of it.

    Seriously though...

    Who's going to the match tonight against Gateshead. I reckon as well as using it to increase the match fitness of some first teamers, Pardew is looking to get a good result to improve morale from a shaky pre-season.

    We're sending a pretty strong squad across the river so I could see this being our opportunity to demolish them. Should be a good match. <ok>
     
    #1
    Mod Face, Aug 2, 2011
  2. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Mike: Joey. Can you pass the Brie?
    Joey: C**t.
    Mike: Ah. There you are Derek.
     
    #2
    overseasTOON, Aug 2, 2011
  3. Cal.

    Cal. Active Member

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    Maybe this whole situation is a result of the clear and immense sexual tension between Barton and Ashley?
     
    #3
    Cal., Aug 2, 2011
  4. Mod Face

    Mod Face Well-Known Member

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    Joey Barton tweets: "Been made to train alone, typical."

    Joey Barton all by himself, doing kickie ups at an empty St James. It's starting to get dark when all of a sudden the floodlights dim and from the dugout comes Mike Ashley, dressed in a tux holding an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne and a rose in his front pocket.

    JB: "Ah ****'s sake, what do you want now?!"
    MA: "Shush, shush." *puts a finger to JB's lips* "Why must you always swear, let's just enjoy this moment alone..."
    JB: "****'s sake man! Get off me! Where's the rest of the lads?!"
    MA: "Oh, I had Pardy take a strong squad to Gateshead tonight so we could have some time alone to.... talk things through."
    JB: "Erm, okay. Firstly I want you to show you consider me a key player by-"
    MA: "Scotch Egg?"
    JB: "Umm, aye go on then. Anyway, I just want to know you appreciate my contribution to th-
    MA: "It's such a beautiful night isn't it?"
    JB: "Spose so. What I wanted to say was-"
    MA: "Oh my dear, you appear to have some sweat on your forehead, here let me get that for you..." *mops with hankie*
    JB: "Erm, thanks. Anyway, I want a contract that reflects my status as a strong performer within the squad."
    MA: "Oh and what a strong performer you are!" *giggles* "Let me feel your muscles. Ooh! I'm positively blushing!"
    JB: "Sir?"
    MA: "Shut up and kiss me you fool!"

    *X-rated from then on*


    So anyway, back to my original point, £10 on the door, International Stadium, 7:30pm, who's going? <ok>
     
    #4
    Mod Face, Aug 2, 2011
  5. The Secret Ingredient

    The Secret Ingredient Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #5
    The Secret Ingredient, Aug 2, 2011
  6. Sultan Of Swing

    Sultan Of Swing Member

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    Joey Barton is found flattened dead 10 minutes later.
    Police suspect a sausage roll overdose.
     
    #6
    Sultan Of Swing, Aug 2, 2011

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