Off Topic A word of advice for all you gentlemen........

Passed Penshaw monument tonight all lit up in red and white
My friend commented on how the red and white lights made it look much bigger than it actually was.
Just saying........................................

 

Thanks for that tip Jerry, off to get some bulbs for the bedroom.....lol.

 

Im gannin shopping for some airfix paints and a magnifying glass.

 

It looks bigger but really it isn't.
Shaving your pubes has the same effect.
Mine really need a trim.
Like a busted mattress down there.

 

Try Veet mate

 

Haha. Jerrys lathering up the shaving brush and has the cut throat at the ready. Shaving 1940s stylee.

Ouch. Sorry sir but its just a tiny cut.

 

Err...................I've read the reviews.
No thanks, lol.

 

That could be quite erotic.

 

Not once theOld Spice gets splashed on.

 

Yeah but it would get rid of the smegma.

 

Any photos? I think that would look great

 

. Baku wants some bedroom lighting tips.

 

Just gan Turkish style. A squirt of lighter fuel and a zippo.

Whoosh ya ****er. Gone in 3 seconds. Nee way id let one of those barbarians near me. Ive seen them do peoples noses with the burny lark

 

I've searched all ower the town but can't find red and white cock lights anywhere..

 

Tried that once when I was welding (or trying to weld!) In the running gear of a trailor. Big glob of molten metal bounced onto the floor and found its way onto the meat and 2 veg. Problem was I was wedged between the axles so could not move very freely and the overalls caught fire - managed to put it out eventually but very frightening moment

 

Just because you repeat a quote doesn't mean you're back Stu!

You actually have to say something

Now haway bonny lad, you know you can do it.......

 

'A Gentleman doesn't need advice Springer'

 

Reet, i'm off to the tattooist for some red and white stripes on me manhood, stripes cos it makes things look longer and tattoo cos thousands of needles in me dick will make it swell to three times the size anyway. Unless i go for black and white then it'll just go limp