I met 2 of my pals in the pub one afternoon for a few pints and some pool. We ended up buying a litre of vodka each and drinking it all at one of their houses. Then we got the bus into town and that's when it gets hazy. I just wandered off for no reason. I remember being outside a hotel and telling the guy on the door that I'd lost my phone and could he help me look for it, even though it was in my hands. Then I decided to go home, so went in what I thought was the direction of East Kilbride. My brother had phoned me a taxi to pick me up at where I thought I was. He kept calling me to say it was right there but I wasn't. Turned out I had went the totally wrong way and only realised when I got to Milgavnie Sports Centre Managed to get a taxi from there and he didn't charge me because it was the best story he had heard. The whole journey he was on the phone to other taxi drivers telling them about me
I was in Kos on holiday, 18-30 club. Free drinks for the first hour in the nightclub and I was bored of the usual drink. Decided to turn to rum and downed at least 15 in the hour. Ended up cuddling the kebab shop toilet. The bird told me but didn't believe her. Next night we were out and ended up in the kebab shop for a munch on the way home. Up on the wall behind the till is a blown up picture of me fast asleep in just my boxers, arms round the bog The bird had to carry all my clothes and me up to the apartment
I went skydiving after an hours sleep from a full day drinking. My flight up to 14,000 fairly sobered me up.
When I was 31 I met a Girl from Glasgow on holiday in Spain.The second day home my mates and i went out on the piss. Woke up the next day on the sofa of the girls mums house and we have been married now for 16 years.
Well my fellow p*ss artists, being a keen cricketer and partaker of refreshments after playing a match of the refined gentlemans game I once had a few beers too many post match. It started with an impressive victory and hence the beer flowed and flowed..... and flowed, not being able to remember most of the evenings shenanigans I awoke the next day and decided to empty my dirty kit into the hotpoint. Curiously, I delved through my kit bag and noticed that my gear was a little damp and on further inspection stank of urine!. Yes, the only conclusion I could come up with was that I had (in a drunken stuper) p*ssed in my kit bag (probably during my sleep). I have absolutely no recollection, hence I assume I did it in my sleep. Cant remember how much ale I had but this must be the most drunk I have ever been.
Last year at a House party. Ran out of beers so i stole a whole bottle of that greek **** ozo and ended up drinking it all with my mate, that mixed with about 6 beers a couple tokes and a line of charlie and i was ****ered, Was playing golf in the chicks yard at like 5am but playing towards the house. Got kicked out and had no where else to go, except the mate who got kicked out with me knew some bird in the area so we tried getting into hers, he climbed on her roof whilst i feel asleep in the garden, next thing i know im in a police van because they thought we were burglars and i spent the rest of the night in a cell. I can tell you this now, my ma was not happy with me.
Dont usually drink but new years eve finished work then got on it like a car bonnet... well put it this way you know you were in a bad way when you cant remeber being in the in-laws and your clothes smell of skunk! to make matters worse City were playing the next day.
been following you chunts for ages and yous talk a load of pish, but this thread MADE me sign up cause i got ****ing loads a pish-up but cant really remember most of them - actally i'm pisshed now so wont be bothering with spell checker pish - if that alright ya bass'es. 1. invited by bro who was in naffi at hms collingwood, fareham . i lived in dunbar nr edinbuger. So got on train dunbar - kingsX train and had good pish up about a 12 pack of good old scottish housing beer (tenements), got tube to waterloo but somehow managed to go to planet hollywood in leicester square for more beer. missed said train from waterloo by gobbing of to some chunt who was a merchant banker - met some bitches and fingered one under table - **** my finger stunk - got lift by said chunt from london to fareham. arrived late at navy base met by some naval police chunt with gun saying how late i was told him to gtf seen as my bro was in naffi and he let me in bro was off next day so went and drunk local bowling alley dry of vodka - spent whole months wages in 1 night, ****ed for month, lost return train ticket, no money just ****ed nut still managed to blag train home 350 miles or whatever it was including a 9 minute record transfer between waterloo and kingsX. Cant remember most of it to this day but what a weekend. loads more days and nights of pish ... worked in a brewery so had some fun! anyway **** yous. ciao the sailor
2. i night was out with 2 bro's in southampton think it was new years cant remember but spent **** loads on booze and then suddelenly got slpit up. cant remember exactly but remember giving the polis the bird - bastards got me for it so night in cells but when processed in morning after waking up juice spotted my two bros. spoke later and both were done for giving it loudy to polis night before so is that a record .... 3 bros, all done on same night for same thing but separately????
once got done on my birthday for a hoax boom threat at loacl supermarket... i dont recall making that call!
went for a days drinking in pompy and ended up rolling around in middle of a street cause something was funny - it cant have been THAT funny
got so pisheed that i forgot i had moved house and fell over whilst running for the last ferry home when i didn't even need to get the ferry
