People who have to tell you everything their new born baby is up to. Oh my god my baby just looked at me. Oh my god the baby just blinked. Oh my god the baby just coughed. Oh my god the baby just moved her arm. Oh my god the baby just burped Oh my god the baby just woke up for no reason. Oh my god Tel just walked into my front room and booted the baby over next door's fence.
Adam "The drainpipe shuffler" Johnson. I heard he's applied for a job cleaning the windows in the youth offenders wing.
Just been for a walk with the dog and bab by the canal, some bloke walked past and just up ahead of me he's let his dog **** and not picked it up, ok that's not cool, then he's picked up a stick, waited for my dog to come over then chucked it in the canal for both dogs to jump in after. My dogs not the best swimmer, she does this stupid sort of front crawl where it's high energy but doesn't get her very far and I've had to go into streams and so on several times to fetch her when she's been going under. Luckily this time there was no current and she splashed back to the side ok. If I wanted my dog to go for a swim I'd throw a stick in myself. You don't get to decide if I have to drive back with a wet dog or not you twat.
Those beautiful girls who, after you marry them, turn into a WIFE! They never smile any more. The world is against them. (And it's all YOUR fault). You are forever IN THEIR WAY! Their arse always look big in everything they wear but you're not allowed to say it is when they ask you. If you don't fix something they keep nagging you every 6 months until you do! AND they have NOTHING to wear even though they have three wardrobes full of clothes! (Thousands to follow - I am sure you all could add some).
I feel like I say this on every moaning thread, but just now in Subway, again, another ****ing chink who cannot understand the concept of personal space, breathing on me with his crispy wonton breath. I just stared at him dead in the eye to make him uncomfortable until he moved.
I found out 2 things about Subway. 1. My dick is not as long as a Subway Foot-Long Roll. 2. I am banned from Subway.
I would have liked to or at least said something but I didn't want to cause a scene with the bab in her pram. I see it quite a lot, people seem to like to make other people's dogs get in water. I'll have to give her a bath now she bloody stinks.
I am also banned from my local Gym! I'd just come off the tread-mill when this gorgeous little blonde came in and started to put her hair in a pony tail. Naturally, I thought she was going to give me a head-job so I got my dick out!
