Fruit

What is your favourite fruit?

Mine would have to be the Nectarine.

More meaningless drivel to follow, slow day at work.

 

Oscar Wilde.

 

Grapes

 

Sour ones?

 

I find bananas very versatile.

 

Mango or pineapple or watermelon

 

Banana, tastes great, goes with everything and no need to carry it in a bag seeing as it fits snuggly in one's farter.

 

Also strangely erect now when feasting on avocado.

 

A Mr Barrie Lochrie makes his own grapes. Get in touch for a sample.

 

Peaches. I often find myself standing on the beaches staring at the peaches.

 

Like a typical Looney Tune, I am a big fan of watermelon, and I can also spit seeds large distances with my enlarged lips and tongue.

 

A discarded guava actually saved my life once.

I was merrily skipping down Saffron Waldon High Street when I unknowingly stepped on the aforementioned fruit and skidded into the road. At the very moment I came to rest in the sludge of the rutted thoroughfare, an anvil fell from a fourth-storey window and landed in the exact place where I would have been. Other than a light coating of dust and debris, I was unscathed.

Unfortunately a small group of Scientologists were crushed to death.

I hurried on to the sanctuary of Ponden Homes.

True story.

 

Was the anvil emblazoned with the word ACME?

 

It was, yes. Were you there?

 

Pics or it didny happen.

 

How could they have been crushed if it landed where you were standing?

 

It landed where I would have been standing had I not skidded into the road.

The anvil was blinkin' huge, I tell ye.

 

No I wasn't but those ACME anvils falling from height Is quite a common occurrance apparently.

 

Is that Ruth the **** in your wee picture thingy Trev?

 

You can usually hear them coming from the whistle they make when dropped