Talking of flogging. A Chelsea fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man Utd fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Chelsea fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Chelsea fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The scouser was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my shirt" But even two pillows & 1 shirt could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Manc was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The manc replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks. "Please tie the Scouser to my back."
Oh ludicrous one. Don't know about "great", but certainly you grate. By the way. Who was it who said 2Great cubs win the European Cup four times". Can anyone help him out as he obviously doesn't know what "great" actually means. Five anyone?
Constcrepe. You may not be surpised to hear that the first time I heard that joke, there was a slight, but important, change in the wording. By the way, in a recent survey, it was shown that one in three mancs.......... .......is as thick as the other two.
Psycho. I got thrown out of the cubs for breaking someone's leg. It was a bit unfair as it wasn't intentional.
Nah Red Hadron Cauliflower I'm not really into boy bands, especially Five ffs, Takethat now for that genre they are great!
The problem with these awful jokes is that, you could change the team names around and it would still make the same amount of sense, so they aren't very funny if you ask me. Something original would be nice, for a change.
Constcrepe. The old ones are certainly the best. Ludicrous One. I hope you're joking about Take That.
Here's food for thought. Liverpool have never won the title since the back pass to the goalie (who could then pick the ball up) was banned. I'm not saying the two are contacted.
Yeah, because that particular law only applied in games featuring Liverpool Here's food for thought, Man Utd only ever won the European Cup/Champions league once when the competition was open to champions only. Coincidence?
Raaaul. I've just found out I'm both gay and dyslexic. I think I'm still in Daniel. Constcrepe. They could be contacted if you get into the Large Hadron Collider and do a bit of time travel. Certainly not connected.
