1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

started writing poetry last night

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by User Deleted, Feb 23, 2016.

  1. bucks_is_leeds

    bucks_is_leeds Jonny big spuds
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    10,350
    Likes Received:
    6,885
    please log in to view this image
     
    #121
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2016
  2. bucks_is_leeds

    bucks_is_leeds Jonny big spuds
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    10,350
    Likes Received:
    6,885
    #122
    User Deleted and Jip Jaap Stam like this.
  3. bucks_is_leeds

    bucks_is_leeds Jonny big spuds
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    10,350
    Likes Received:
    6,885
    **** sake I did a Mindy. Can't upload @Scan magazine
     
    #123
    User Deleted and Jip Jaap Stam like this.
  4. RobSpur

    RobSpur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,344
    Likes Received:
    615
    Someone asked me tonight to comment on a lighthearted debate about whether the word "scone", should be pronounced so that it rhymes with "cone" or with, "con".

    I replied 40 minutes later with this :

    I walked into the bakery,
    And stood there right in front of me,
    Was a jolly baker, loud and round,
    Who made an announcement for the crowd.

    He said , "Hello there friend. As a new patron,
    I will give you title to the ground we stand on,",
    "If you can eat my giant scone,
    Without your weight increasing half a stone".

    I eyed the huge pattiserie,
    and said, "please give me a cup of tea",
    I ate and ate and ate like damn,
    But didn't put on a single gram.

    The baker looked in disbelief,
    As the pastry disappeared,
    As the final crumbs went in my mouth,
    shocked customers all cheered.

    The baker said, "How did you do that ? you're no fatter than when you came in"
    "Yet my giant pastry has all gone".
    I eyed the baker and said, "Well Sir, I guess I win",
    "Because I only ate a scone".



    # feeling quite pleased with myself :)
     
    #124
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
    DevAdvocate likes this.
  5. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2015
    Messages:
    67,350
    Likes Received:
    53,613
    You shouldn't .:emoticon-0176-smoke
     
    #125
  6. RobSpur

    RobSpur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,344
    Likes Received:
    615
    Your best 'I'm going to kill you' joke yet.

    Not as good as my poem though <ok>
     
    #126
  7. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2015
    Messages:
    67,350
    Likes Received:
    53,613
    Is your old lady sitting next to you still ?
     
    #127
  8. RobSpur

    RobSpur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,344
    Likes Received:
    615
    That was someone else, and someone else's 'old lady'.

    Neither my 'old lady' nor theirs are sitting next to me.
     
    #128
  9. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    19,250
    Likes Received:
    8,235
    Diznae Rhyme...
     
    #129
  10. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    Busta Rhymes
     
    #130

  11. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    5,297
    was pumping this quality wee bit of gear on a regular basis a couple of years back, she moved to london to do some modelling work and i got a text from her yesterday to say she was back home so i said to her come round mine to see the flat (i wasnt in my flat when i was pumping her) and she was like ooh ok i'll bring you a flat warming gift, i was like kerching expecting her to come along wearing a saucy wee nurse outfit and bring handcuffs and that, well do u know what it was? a f*cking yankee candle ragin man
     
    #131
  12. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2011
    Messages:
    15,984
    Likes Received:
    18,997
    <rofl>

    Savage for the bold Scan. Keep your chins up, big man. The LYT's Easter Shagger Tour and Eccie Consignment Networking Trip of Amsterdam is in 4 weeks, so stay positive.
     
    #132
    Archers Road and User Deleted like this.
  13. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    Did you insert in in your anus?
     
    #133
    Archers Road and User Deleted like this.
  14. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    5,297
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa love it dev
     
    #134
  15. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    My comment or the candle in your anus?
     
    #135
    User Deleted likes this.
  16. RobSpur

    RobSpur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,344
    Likes Received:
    615
    The relevance to poetry being ?
     
    #136
  17. Ciaran

    Ciaran Going for 55

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2011
    Messages:
    44,657
    Likes Received:
    30,914
    ****ing dare question Scan's relevance to poetry.
     
    #137
    Patience and User Deleted like this.
  18. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2015
    Messages:
    67,350
    Likes Received:
    53,613
    Can you make scone rhyme with die **** ?
     
    #138
  19. RobSpur

    RobSpur Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,344
    Likes Received:
    615
    I just wondered that's all.

    He clearly wanted to shoehorn in a boast somewhere that he was once seeing a girl who did, "some modelling work".

    I was just curious as to why he chose this thread to make the boast on.

    Btw, is that actually him in his picture ? lol.
     
    #139
  20. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    5,297
    its MY thread and i'll do whatever the f*ck i please

    you find my pic funny? coming from the c*nt who doesnt even HAVE one!

    hey guys, this c*nt doesn't even have an avatar! lolololololol
     
    #140

Share This Page