A light hearted look at what type of products some of the current and historical personalities in the game could look to launch into the consumer market. -Fergie could bring out a range of male hair driers -Cisse or Cheick could bring out a range of condoms given his history with the ladies -Tufty could bring out a range of hair restoration cream I’m sure there are quite a few more out there……..
Sissoko could bring out a range of deckchairs. He's always got the ****er out when he is meant to be trying.
Adam Johnson and Fudge. A finger of either is just enough to give your kids a treat. John Carver and Carlsberg. Neither do football managers, but if they did..... Seydou Doumbia and Werthers Original. Schteve and Pampers, nice enough on the outside but ultimately full of sh*t. Similarly Lee Charnley and Always fanny pads.
Beardsly...scream masks. Colo..afghan mountain goat hair wigs. Colback..mary piper potatoes, by the sack.
Sam Alladyce - Pucker Pies - Fish and Chips or anything that is over 70% fat I could imagine him doing an advert, arms crossed, belly hanging whilst he looks up at fish and chip menu!
Darlow – a range of sensual lubricants (from his saves and kicking vs West Brom, I assume he was smeared in them anyway...) Tiote – bulldozers with manoeuvrability problems Sissoko – a taxi company that occasionally provide you with excellent service but normally just don’t turn up Colback – dodgy second hand scooters (seems to be doing a job at first, but quickly develops engine problems) Perez – a school of ballerinas with a particular talent for twirls and deft feet movement Obertan – one of those hospital experiments that students get paid money to have drugs tested on them, but end up with deformed swollen heads as an after effect Shola – donkey rides along the beach Michael Owen – an internet scam that promises you a vast return, but just ends up taking all your money and giving you nothing back
