Off Job Hunting

I failed to get the role of Willy Thrillhammer in "Undigested Sweecorn On My Bell End" so it looks like Ii won't be able to renew my porno career.

Is it too late in the day to be an astronaut? I have a tin foil hat. And a badge saying Major Tom.

 

I thought you were going to Dubai you beast?

 

Erm that was a porky!!

Sorry.

 

With a bit of luck Drew you could be in charge of the chip fryer at MacDonalds.

 

haha er back on top form, not taking any credit for my counselling - this is all down to the man himself

 

Aldi pay well

 

****ing depressed spastic ****.

 

There's nae Aldis near me here in Cardonald. Are they any good?

 

My dad is obsessed by them he buys dehumidifiers pants garden stuff and goes every single day.
The cold cuts are awesome and the meat is better than Tesco Sainsburys etc.
They do this Italian anti pasti selection thing for about £3 proper tasty.
The wines are fantastic too, those Germans don't mess about.

 

Aldi is great, you get proper Kraut food in them

 

I shop at Waitrose.

Because I have money.

 

Waitrose is fine but you are paying over the odds for things you can get elsewhere. Their products have an air of quality about them but by and large it's a veneer. I would not do my Xmas shopping there.

 

There's only one in Dubai and you have to go in a special room to buy pork.
It's nowhere near as good as a UK one , no bakery no booze and they don't sell all the primo lines..
No better than Carrefour .

 

Like Marks and Spencer on Gibraltar, it's ****.

 

Waitrose is for fenian ****s.

 

There are loads, actually. Not sure why having to go in to a different room to buy pork is such an issue unless you're a half breed who can't operate automatic doors

Also, they have bakeries.

Booze I'll give you, but if that was an issue then why the **** would you even bother coming to Dubai given 90% of the restaurants at the malls etc don't serve booze either

 

They sell fruit and veg for double the price of other supeemarkets and it comes from the same farms..
The bread cakes fresh fish and party foods like are good but you would need to be mad to buy all your shopping in there.

 

Would you like fries with that sir?

Have a nice day!!

Piece of cake. plus the bonus of wearing a hat.

 

Waitrose definitely gets the peasants fizzing.

"...I can't afford to shop at Waitrose, therefore it's ****e and I hate it. Did you know Aldi do cheap processed ham? It's German too which for some inexplicable reason means it's amazing..."

 

The one I went to was not very good maybe they built more now but I doubt there are loads.
They are no Selfridges .