Don't tread on his toes mate, the last time I spoke to him he was so pumped up I thought he'd been on the gear.
Johno the welsh farmer said to his mate what do you do for a shag in the summer when all the ewes have gone up the fells his mate says I keep 3 back in the barn and then just slot one down my wellies when I fancy a bit, what do you do, Johno the farmer says sort of the same but I take 1 upstairs and throw it on the bed and make love to it in the missionary position, his mate says is that so you can pretend its a woman Johno says christ no its so I can kiss them at the same time.