1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic The Merry Crimbo Thread

Discussion in 'Norwich City' started by KIO, Dec 23, 2015.

Page 2 of 3
  1. KIO

    KIO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    12,603
    Likes Received:
    3,189
    Another 12 days of Christmas​


    December 14, 1992
    My dearest darling John:
    Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure.
    Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.
    My love always,

    Agnes


    December 15, 1992
    Dearest John:
    Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift.
    They are just adorable.
    All my love,

    Agnes


    December 16, 1992
    Dear John:
    Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.
    All my love,

    Agnes


    December 17, 1992
    Dear John:
    Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.
    Affectionately,

    Agnes


    December 18, 1992
    Dearest John:
    What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it.
    Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.
    All my love,

    Agnes


    December 19, 1992
    Dear John:
    When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh?
    These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbours are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
    Please stop.
    Cordially,

    Agnes


    December 20, 1992
    John:
    What's with you and those fecking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird sh1t all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those fecking birds.
    Sincerely,

    Agnes


    December 21, 1992
    O.K. Buster:
    I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows.
    There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.
    Agnes


    December 22, 1992
    Hey Sh1thead:
    What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds.
    What am I going to do? The neighbours have started a petition to evict me.
    You'll get yours !

    Agnes


    December 23, 1992
    You rotten prick:
    Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long.
    Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of ****. The Environmental Health Department has summoned me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
    I'm calling the police on you !
    Agnes


    December 24, 1992
    Listen Fcukhead:
    What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those tarts will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
    Your sworn enemy,

    Agnes


    December 25, 1992
    Dear Sir:
    This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McNally.
    The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McNally at the Hellesdon Hospital, Security have been instructed to shoot you on sight.
    With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
    Cordially,

    Badger, Bender and Chole Solicitors
     
    #21
    KIO, Dec 23, 2015
    Hairy Mary Quite Canary, Resurgam and DHCanary like this.
  2. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    45,962
    Likes Received:
    8,518
    The brilliant Frank Kelly!

     
    #22
    canary-dave, Dec 23, 2015
  3. Isle of Wight Canary

    Isle of Wight Canary Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    3
    Merry Christmas to all Canary fans everywhere !
     
    #23
    Isle of Wight Canary, Dec 23, 2015
    KIO and DHCanary like this.
  4. Forgot_My_Lines

    Forgot_My_Lines Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    13,973
    Likes Received:
    5,074
    Aww, KIO, thanks for the mention mate! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too, and everyone else I have enjoyed chatting with this past year :)

    OTBC
     
    #24
    Forgot_My_Lines, Dec 23, 2015
  5. Tomatoehead

    Tomatoehead Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    281
    Likes Received:
    10
    I wish everyone a very merry Christmas.
     
    #25
    Tomatoehead, Dec 23, 2015
  6. goldeneadie

    goldeneadie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    6,331
    Likes Received:
    1,301
    A very merry Christmas to all Canaries everywhere from the Philippines.
     
    #26
    goldeneadie, Dec 24, 2015
  7. THURNBY YELLOW

    THURNBY YELLOW Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    1,710
    Likes Received:
    412
    Merry Christmas to all Canaries from here in rural Leicestershire. Well done KIO a nice thread to end the year and I see that you have found another cracking avatar. Will Mr Boyer appear sometime in the New Year?
     
    #27
    THURNBY YELLOW, Dec 24, 2015
  8. ncgandy

    ncgandy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    9,053
    Likes Received:
    3,873
    Carols at Ely Cathedral last night, followed by midnight shopping at Tesco, Dereham. Now I know Christmas has truly arrived! <laugh>

    Merry Christmas one and all! <cheers>
     
    #28
    ncgandy, Dec 24, 2015
  9. Tony_Munky_Canary

    Tony_Munky_Canary Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2011
    Messages:
    5,949
    Likes Received:
    964
    Merry Christmas you lot, hope you have a great festive period with your nearest and dearest and here's to a fabulous 2016 <cheers>
     
    #29
    Tony_Munky_Canary, Dec 24, 2015
  10. Dangerous Marsupial

    Dangerous Marsupial Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    3,386
    Likes Received:
    54
    Merry Christmas tomorrow guys and a happy new year thereafter!
     
    #30
    Dangerous Marsupial, Dec 24, 2015

  11. daib0

    daib0 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,239
    Likes Received:
    92
    Happy Christmas everyone

    thanks for accepting me on here as a (well-intentioned) Royals fan

    Have a great festive season wherever you are:


    please log in to view this image
     
    #31
    daib0, Dec 24, 2015
    ncgandy and Canary Rob like this.
  12. Superman wears Grant Holt pyjamas in bed

    Superman wears Grant Holt pyjamas in bed Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    13,639
    Likes Received:
    346
    Merry Christmas ya filthy animals...










    ...and a Happy New Year x
     
    #32
    Superman wears Grant Holt pyjamas in bed, Dec 24, 2015
    K E M P, royalbarclayfan, DHCanary and 3 others like this.
  13. Hairy Mary Quite Canary

    Hairy Mary Quite Canary Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2011
    Messages:
    3,611
    Likes Received:
    2,560
    Mary Christmas all of you. <hug>
     
    #33
    Hairy Mary Quite Canary, Dec 24, 2015
  14. stilljaroldcanary

    stilljaroldcanary Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    2,194
    Likes Received:
    120
    Merry Christmas everyone hope you all have a great holiday

    Let's hope for a prosperous gathering of PL points for our team

    OTBC
     
    #34
    stilljaroldcanary, Dec 24, 2015
    KIO likes this.
  15. KIO

    KIO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    12,603
    Likes Received:
    3,189
    Well the big day is here and I'm having a very Merry DVD Christmas this year. Last season's' Straight Back Up' NCFC, Citizen Smith and Laurel and Hardy box sets <cheers>
     
    #35
    KIO, Dec 25, 2015
  16. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    45,962
    Likes Received:
    8,518
    I'm under the affluence of inkerhol but I'm not as thunk as drinkle peep I am! :emoticon-0167-beer:
     
    #36
    canary-dave, Dec 25, 2015
    Hairy Mary Quite Canary and KIO like this.
  17. KIO

    KIO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    12,603
    Likes Received:
    3,189
    Just a normal day for you then Dave? <cheers> <laugh>
     
    #37
    KIO, Dec 25, 2015
    canary-dave likes this.
  18. Bath-Canary

    Bath-Canary Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    3,065
    Likes Received:
    373
    Merry Christmas everyone!
     
    #38
    Bath-Canary, Dec 25, 2015
  19. Hairy Mary Quite Canary

    Hairy Mary Quite Canary Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2011
    Messages:
    3,611
    Likes Received:
    2,560
    Anyone else stuffed?
     
    #39
    Hairy Mary Quite Canary, Dec 25, 2015
  20. KIO

    KIO Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    12,603
    Likes Received:
    3,189
    Completely :emoticon-0119-puke:
     
    #40
    KIO, Dec 25, 2015
Page 2 of 3

Share This Page