I'm sitting down, typing so I clearly am in a position to criticise ****s who think "just bought a burger" is earth shattering news.
My mate claims he was raped by a fat hound down the Ferry in Inverness a good few years back. She told him he was going to shag her or she would get him stabbed. I've seen her and a stabbing would definitely have been the smarter choice.
Fat bird grabs yer plumbs on a night out its a bit of craic, stick your hand up some randomers skirt and give her blurt a squeeze and yer in the dock.
Talking to a few Aussies in a bar the other day. They were just off the cruise ship for the day. Where's yer next stop lads? Invergordon I burst out laughing and had to make up some ****e to them why. They were for Inverness.
All the tourists off the boats were usually fat Yanks and Krauts in polyester. There was a Norwegian schooner which was basically a booze cruise for teenagers though. Twice a year all these young Norwegians would pay to come over and drink in a ****holes like The Caley and The Silver Dollar (Which still puts auld cardboard down at the bar to soak up jakey pish )
