Big Vern's blog

Google will tell you.

You can learn something new every day.

 

I

I am in the middle of an excursion to hell.

I'm not out of the woods yet, not by a long shot but will try to keep posting and keep the troops entertained.

It's what I do.

 

Hope everything is ok

 

I'm ok mate.

Give it a month and as long as things go to plan I'll be happy as Larry.

All work related.

 

I thought you'd self combusted having a **** or something.

 

it's like dogging, but on seaside rooftops.

 

I am looking to sell some City memorabelia on ebay and thought I would try and obtain any tips.

I have many City programmes from the late 70's and early 80's. I also have a bona fide Ian Ashbee shirt worn by him. The fixture was versus West Ham and it was our second season in the EPL.

Tomatoes are slow and love life is non existent at the moment.

 

Notification....Big vern's blog ..... excitement building!. No ****ing dating updates. This is Bullshit Vern, Bullshit!

 

Calm down Oliver - I was only posing a legitimate question regarding the use of ebay and any associated selling tips.

 

I think if you sold the merchandise in combination with your toms interest would be sky high. Also re the dating, why don't you ring into the gardening phone-in on radio Humberside and ask if there are any ladies out there who love getting their fingers caked in the brown stuff?

 

Haven't read posts ahead yet, but did you save some vaseline from your bike trip ?

 

Been away for a few days and just back.

I like bed and breakfast but travelling around gives me severe constipation. I think it is the different water. Well after about 4 days of cooked breakfasts, rich food and good ale there was no bowel movement and I was starting to become concerned. Then it happened - I was leisurely walking back up the stairs after a full English when I detected pain and knew I had to go. The passing of the turd was both painful and a relief. It was about 10 inches in length with a wide girth and was lodged in the u bend of the toilet. After about 6 flushes it was clear it was lodged and there was no hope of shifting it. I had to remove it and return to my room. I rolled it down the sloping slate roof where it came to rest in the guttering.

I decided to pay for the room and left red faced. How I laughed on the drive away from the premises. More bed and breakfast capers tomorrow which will make you smile

 

Can someone do what Vern is clearly incapable of doing and get rid of this ****?

 

I think I know who he is

 

Ha ha ha !
Thats excellent

 

I was thinking about sticking to matchsticks in the end to resemble eyes on stalks but remembered the owners had my booking details.
There was an interesting encounter at one place with a young lady responsible for cleaning my room but that can wait for another day.

 

Long live big verns blog

 

Go on then.

 

you

 

I'm surprised by how many people think this fella's funny! Anyone who calls themselves BIG has got to be a ****er?