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50 Shades of HAIG

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by luvgonzo, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Seeing as this thread is pretty much gay porn it may not go down (pun) too well.

    The following is an excert from my upcoming novel 50 Shades of HAIG.


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    “Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, HAIG?” Holy ****. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly.
    “No, Piskie it doesn’t. Firstly, I don’t make love. I ****… hard. Secondly, there’s a lot more paperwork to do, and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”
    My mouth drops open. **** hard! Holy ****, that sounds so… hot. But why are we looking at a playroom? I am mystified.
    “You want to play on your Xbox?” I ask. He laughs, loudly.
    “No, Piskie, no Xbox, no Playstation. Come.”… Producing a key from his pocket, he unlocks yet another door and takes a deep breath.
    “You can leave anytime. The helicopter is on stand-by to take you whenever you want to go, you can stay the night and go home in the morning. It’s fine whatever you decide.”
    “Just open the damn door, HAIG.”
    He opens the door and stands back to let me in. I gaze at him once more. I so want to know what’s in here. Taking a deep breath I walk in.
    And it feels like I’ve time-traveled back to the sixteenth century and the Spanish Inquisition.
    Holy ****.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    More to follow.
     
    #1
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  2. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    Does he show him his Cambridge certificate to get him hard?
     
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  3. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure you and HIAG aren't related? **** knows what goes on in your heads! <yikes>
     
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  4. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    HAIG took Piskie by the hand and said "I'm going to give you a lesson you'll never forget". Piskie looked down at the floor and whispered, "A lesson in love?". There was silence. Suddenly HAIG laughed. A deep, raucous laugh that belied his femininity. "Love? I'm not going to give you a lesson in love you delightfully foolish child. I'm going to give you a lesson in the Law. I'm a lawyer don't you know!"
     
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  5. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    “Your father? I'd like to meet him."
    Oh no... why?
    "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
    HAIG unlocks the door, his mouth in a grim line.
    "Are you ashamed of me?"
    "No!" It's my turn to sound exasperated. "Introduce you to my dad as what? 'This is the man who deflowered me and wants to start a BDSM relationship'. You're not wearing running shoes.”
    “Piskie, I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of man, I don’t do romance. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear of me.” He closes his eyes as if in defeat. “There’s something about you, though,and I’m finding it impossible to stay away. But I think you’ve figured that out already.”
     
    #5
  6. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    Oh! That's soooo...romantic....<laugh>
     
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  7. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    That last line is so very true. <laugh>
     
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  8. SpursDisciple

    SpursDisciple Booking: Mod abuse - overturned on appeal
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    Could we have our first NOT606 marriage? In best Cilla voice I'll have to buy a 'at
     
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  9. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    "You're mine Piskie, you belong to me"
    "No HAIG, I don't belong to anyone. You can't treat me like that."
    "I can treat you any way I like Piskie and do you know why?
    "Why HAIG? Why?!"
    "Because I own you."
     
    #9
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2015
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  10. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Nothing from the main characters yet. <laugh>
     
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  11. SpursDisciple

    SpursDisciple Booking: Mod abuse - overturned on appeal
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    Probably looking for the handcuff key?
     
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  12. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    <laugh>
     
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  13. NSIS

    NSIS Well-Known Member

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    Well, they are both so shy, aren't they? :)
     
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  14. WTF?!!!
    <laugh>

    Why am I getting punished for PIXIE's obsession with me?

    Oh, and by the way, "PIXIE" is not my love-pet name for him! I don't picture him in pointy-toed boots with bells, and green tights. Well, I didn't until I just said it.
     
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  15. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    I'm sure I can work that into the novel somewhere. <ok>
     
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  16. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    I think it was Piskie getting punished to be fair. :bandit::emoticon-0172-mooni
     
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  17. You have the mind of a warped, sick genius!

    I love it!
     
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  18. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    Don't you start looking sideways at me young man, keep your eye on the Piskie prize. <laugh>
     
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  19. SpursDisciple

    SpursDisciple Booking: Mod abuse - overturned on appeal
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    <laugh>
     
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  20. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Says the poster with two quotes about me in his signature

    #obsessed
     
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