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Weekend

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Patience, Aug 10, 2015.

  1. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Actually local parks. Cooncil staff piss themselves laughing at the drunken old daftie.
     
    #21
    Patience likes this.
  2. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Sorry chief but actually privately owned lawns.

    **** knows who owns them though.
     
    #22
    Patience, Deleted 1 and Black Caviar like this.
  3. Patience

    Patience Spastic Arab

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    What kind of dags, Aldo?
     
    #23
  4. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Is this the Gardening thread now?
     
    #24
  5. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Two German Shepherds and a Malamute Jiffy.
     
    #25
  6. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.

    I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!", I said, "I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now! I’m a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I’d meet the challenge!

    "Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don’t mind a man with a waistband that’s a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute!

    "Anyway, I’ve put on a couple of pounds myself!" she giggled ...so I told her to **** off.
     
    #26
  7. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    That's a shame. I fear you may have passed up on a thoroughly pleasant evening.
     
    #27
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2015
  8. Nathan Barley

    Nathan Barley Well-Known Member

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    *have
     
    #28
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  9. Big Audio Dynamite

    Big Audio Dynamite Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    No fat English ****s!!! widen yer horizons <whistle>
     
    #29
  10. Big Audio Dynamite

    Big Audio Dynamite Well-Known Member

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    Groundhog day?
     
    #30

  11. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Pass her to Gambol.
     
    #31
  12. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    Thanks, pal. :)

    These things happen when I allow my man to have the evening off.

    Sleep tight.
     
    #32
    Nathan Barley likes this.
  13. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    Went on a bender. Still ****ed today. Missed work yesterday.
     
    #33
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  14. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    Friday ... Few pints after work

    Saturday ... **** all

    Sunday ... Wife's cousin up from Devon, went out for a meal n a bevvy

    Monday ... All day wedding , pished!

    Today ... ****ed
     
    #34
  15. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    Suicide imminent.

    Googling methods just now.
     
    #35
  16. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    A wedding on a Monday? How strange/cheap.
     
    #36
  17. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    Aye ... Bit ****ed as you need to take 2 days off work !
     
    #37
  18. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    Disappointed my so called friends on here are liking my suicide threats

    You're supposed to talk me out of it fellas. It's a cry for help for pity's sake
     
    #38
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  19. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    I'm sure the vast majority of the people there were jobless anyway. A wedding on a Monday ffs.
     
    #39
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  20. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Don't do it China etc <ok>
     
    #40
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