Random **** That Pisses You Off

People who say leccy instead of electricity. How ****ing hard is it to say electricity bill?

Anyway, I'm off for luncheon, ya ****s.

 

People who say "a coffee" instead of "coffee"

 

People eating crisps. The continuous rattle of the crisp poke grinds ma ****in gears.

People who tear open the poke so it lays flat and eat the crisps off that are acceptable.

 

People who refer to food as "scram"

 

In Scotland it's "scran", but aye it annoys me too

 

People who don't acknowledge small kindnesses, for example holding a door open for them.

 

Long, long ago (early 80s) I once held a door open for a bird only to be rewarded with a withering look and the words "no thank you, I'm a feminist". Right fat scrubber she was too.

 

You should have slammed the door in her face. Literally.

 

Queue jumpers

 

That's happened to me too. She didn't say anything but had a look on her face like I'd held her tits instead of a door.

 

****s that say luncheon

 

People who try to rush onto the tube/train ahead of you. They get an accidental dig in the ribs from my elbows

 

He was asking for that response ya eejit. He's also asking for a response to his misuse of "literally". Best ignore him.

 

I know he was, but I'm going for the old double bluff.

 

Literally?

 

Another thing that annoys me is the severe lack of understanding of the meaning of yield.

 

****s who milk a joke until it's no longer funny.

 

****s that don't see the humour in hilarious made up jokes, no matter how long they have been milked for

 

Arseholes who walk whilst constantly looking at their phone in a busy place. If they're in my line of path, I'm not moving for them. A smashed iPhone screen is their reward for being an ignorant, inconsiderate twat.

 

Hello, doll

#bunchaflowers