Australia is in turmoil, and once more, it's all down smuggling. On this occasion it's all the fault of Mr. Depp and his wife Amber Heard, who've had the temerity to try and bypass the quarantine laws of this great and fertile land. Their crime? The sneaking in aboard the private jet, of their two ****ty little dogs Boofhead and ****face. Fanny washers if ever there was such a thing. The Minister for Agriculture, Mr. Barnaby Joyce was not amused. He's given the American criminals 72 hours to get the mutts off Australian turf or Boofhead and ****face would pay for it with their lives. Mr. Depp has decided to cut short his trip and will return to the United States with his pets later today. The Minister said that as the dogs come from a nation with rabies concerns, he has no option but to give the animals the arse, the dogs must go as well. This has caused a right old stink among the soft cocks of this wonderful land. They put up a petition asking for the bum sniffers to be placed in quarantine. Sadly, no short cuts can be condoned when it comes to the protection of a nations flora and fauna. The Royal Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has come out strongly against the petition. Our dingos must be protected at all costs claimed an unnamed spokesperson. These dogs must be made an example of he stated, if not, other would be criminals would think Australia an easy target for pet smuggling. He's called for Boofhead and ****face to taken to a public square in the heart of Sydney and executed by gunfire. He has nothing against the dogs, but a firm stance must be made here. Each of the convicted should face 12 shot gun armed RSPCA officers who at point blank range would blow away the canines he said. When quizzed about the possible overkill, he responded that it was all in the pursuit of the dogs best interests. He did't want them to unduly suffer. The Secretary-General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon has voiced his concerns. He's called for all parties to take a step back from the situation and offered to chair an urgent meeting between the parties. He said if necessary, he'll personally fly into Sydney to oversee the matter. As things stand at the moment, the nation's armed forces have been put on high alert. If the Minister is advised that Mr. Depp's jet should be grounded, action can be undertaken within minutes. Boofhead and ****face have not been told of their plight, but just in case things turn sour for them, they've been allowed to pig out on their favourite food, spam ham enhanced with a generous topping of warmed up baked beans.
I'd shoot the Depps. Putting those animals through hell just because of their own selfishness. Check the rules before you travel you prick. Have to say that the attitude of a few people with pets really annoys me - they think they can swan around the world with them with absolutely no regard to the quarantine laws of their country of destination - if little Tiddles was to become the victim of Rabies in the UK due to our laws being relaxed to allow someone else to do exactly what they want to do they would be the first to be calling for heads to roll. Why do people find it so hard to take responsibility?
What irks me most is that this 'event' received so much press and air time when not too far away in this part of the world you had human beings dying on boats and drinking their own p*ss to try and survive and yet these guys were readily dismissed (no 48 hours grace period here). So which story do you think gets precedence on the news last night !!
I heard on the radio that 3 or 4 countries have denied a host of them landing. Maybe I misunderstood, but I thought that they said as many as 15,000 may be at sea.
"Depp" is also a word used often in Bavaria meaning "idiot", "dumbhead", "clown", etc., etc. His surname is pretty apt, I'd say?
What the Depp's have been refused entry... Dear Lord... Think about the kids... The kids I tell you...
