I'm not sure what the source of the turtles was. Big Dave was stoned when he was telling me, but I made him clarify that it actually happened the following day.
As some of you may recall, I had a problem with the hot water tap on the basin in my bathroom a few months back. My mate, who's now inhabiting Altcourse nick for the baseball bat incident fixed it. About a month ago, the cold tap started going exactly the same way, but obviously my mate's still inside (going to visit him a week on Sunday). John Jenk's 'son-in-law' (NM to his daughter) is happily doing an apprenticeship in plumbing and heating while on the job. He said he was happy to do it. He came round yesterday evening and did the job while I was on my way home from work. Two brand new taps supplied and fitted. How much is he charging me? Another classic to follow after your estimates
Nah. I frequently get my blow off him as well Let me rephrase. How much do you think it would cost to get a plumber from Yell.com to come out and do the same job? I really don't have any ****ing idea
£60ph? That's emergency call rate surely... Would have bought be less than that to get someone out for a nom emergency?
If its an official company then overheads etc make it about that. Obviously depends on whereabouts in the country you are too.
Not for an hours job, you have to factor in travel time, fuel etc. If a plumbers doing a bigger job for you then the rate will fall to a day rate of more like £300 a day.
So the fit, thieving twat that works behind the bar..... It was little Kev's birthday do last Saturday. He's Denice's feller. Yesterday, the barmaid found a cake in the fridge. Apart from her other obvious proclivities, she's a ****ing gannet as well. Constantly filling her face (#femalegreez). She called Kev on his mobile after he'd finished work and asked him if she could have a piece of his cake, which he wasn't even aware he had. He said yes and if Bobby Watson was there, he could too. So she cut three slices (a big fat one for her) and gave one to Bobby and one to Bakky Dave. They were wrapped in foil. A little later, she went upstairs to ask Denice for some change and told her about the cake. "You stupid little ****" was her reply. "Why didn't you come up and ask me rather than calling Kev? It's not his ****ing cake. Gaynor (the other nice barmaid who ****ing hates Carrie) bought it for H (her feller) because it's his birthday today". I bet she ****ing did it on purpose and that's why she phoned Kev and didn't ask Denice. She put the two slices back in the box, minus the big slice she'd already ****ing necked Did she get some **** in her absence when Gaynor came in to do her shift
I heard about the first incident on arriving after work. A group of ypungish blokes had recently started coming in, particularly early on Saturdays and Sundays. One of them started staying in for the whole day and night. He's alright. but a bit of a gobshite. One of his mates is a proper ****. Apparently Denice caught 3 of them in the bog (urinal, NOT sit-down area) snorting lines of coke off the window ledge. That's a life ban. Smoking blow outside is fine Later that night after I'd left, Fiona's nephew (first time I'd seen him that night and a ****ing ****er) got banned for doing exactly the same thing. In between was the cabaret When I first got there, there was a bloke outside with a proper rough looking woman. When they came in, it was clear that he was already ****ing areholes and she wasn't far behind him. They cam and sat near me, so I ****ed off down the other end of the bar. Mandy (Denice's sister) just kept feeding them sambuca,, even though he was completely spannered. He then fell asleep with his head on the bar. When the rough woman woke him up, he fell backwards off his stool and twatted the back of his head on the Yprk stone floor. Apparently ne had a proper Ton and Jerry egg and was out cold. Denice called an ambulance, While its arrival was awaited, some people tried to help. At this point, the rough woman turned and addressed the rest of the customers with "What the **** are you ****s staring at?". My response was "I'm actually not ****ing sure" One rapid response vehicle arrived and he got him into a wheelchair. Then the full ambulance arrived. I ****ed off home before he'd been moved. In other Cheese news. Denice was bitten on her tit and her arse by her Rottweiler on Thursday and Mandy got quite badly bitten on her arm on Friday night. They shouldn't wind the ****er up. She's unpredictable enough as it is, though she's never had me On Sunday, Big Paul was in there pissed up, but he's a good lad and a Red. I once gave him some counselling when his Dad had died and he's never forgotten it. I think he was close to suicidal at the time. He asked me how long I was staying there for as he wanted to go and get something for me. He returned with a signed and framed photo of Gerrard kissing his Champs League medal at Istanbul. Gerrard had given it to Paul's mate, who's a professional boxer. What a very kind thing to do.
