Off Topic How do you measure up?

Want to know which country has the biggest penises in the world?

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Metro News Reporter for Metro.co.ukSaturday 28 Feb 2015 9:06 pm
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How do you measure up? (Picture: Getty Images)
Men: you know what you’re working with – but how do you measure up with the rest of the planet?
If you’re a Brit, you might be disappointed to know the UK ranks is ranked ‘orange’, putting it in the bottom half globally.
Strictly speaking however, 5.5in – the average in Britain – is also the global average so you’re not on the small side, fellas, you’re just average.
Painfully average.
MORE: 10 amazing things you never knew about your penis

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British? Well you’re painfully average (Picture: Mandatory)
Penis Size Around the World

• The global average is 5.5in – the size of the display on an iPhone 6 Plus.
• The title of biggest penises in the world goes to the Democratic Republic of the Congo, where the average is 7.1in, while North Korea comes bottom of the pile with an average penis size of 3.8in.
• South America is comfortably the most well-hung continent, with an average of 6.36in.
• Only 3 percent of men worldwide are dealing with 8in-plus and only 6 percent actually need extra large condoms.

The data was compiled on EveryoneWeb from a number of different studies.
Oh, and in answer to a question that has been asked for millenia, the proper way to measure is from the tip of the penis to the very bottom of the pubic bone – so you can refer your other half to this article when they tell you otherwise.

poor old swords
did I ever tell you about my early years in the congo

 

Were you a travelling Um Bongo salesman, Kiwi?

 

How ironic that America, the home of everything super-sized, should measure in at 5.1".

 

Ok fine, this is the width stats, what about length?

 

Ok I admit it, how do I measure up??

Poorly

 

is there a duckworth-lewis method of measuring for swp?

 

North Korea, no wonder they are the secretive state, 3.8", I would want to keep that a secret!

 

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ladies and gentlemen even, it seems the place to be heading if your in the market for some cock is Congo where the average on that list is 7.1".

I though I was above all the averages until I realised the measurements were imperial and not metric...

 

TE="UTR's, post: 7671255, member: 1026614"]North Korea, no wonder they are the secretive state, 3.8", I would want to keep that a secret![/QUOTE
So that's what's up with the tyrannical leader Kim Jong, it's a clear cut case of "little man" syndrome

 

Looks like the girl on the right of the picture has just seen it!

 

Where do I measure from..?

 

Aah... the good old Dickworth Lewis method. Ratified by all governing bodies and the Catholic Church, men invoke Dickworth Lewis when it seems like they may fall short of the target.

It's a complex equation (so there's no point trying to explain it to girls) but it involves a mixture of temperature, risk of getting caught by the missus, whether the target set is a good one or one influenced by sinking six pints in the pub before going clubbing, and proximity to the time of the last bus home.

There are ways to simplify it - generally around adjusting the target and trying a slightly less risky shot selection - but by and large, one thing is certain. No bloke who has ever called out "Dickworth Lewis" at the appropriate time, has ever been anything but a loser....

 

Well.................mine comes in at whopping 24 inches though I suspect you are not supposed to measure from the cheeks of your ar5e?!