The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking, when in walks a cowboy who yells, "Who's white horse it that outside?" The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says, "It's my horse. Why do you want to know?" The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well, your horse is standing out there in the sun and he don't look too good." The Lone Ranger and Tonto run outside and they see that Silver is in bad shape, suffering from heat exhaustion. The Loan Ranger moves his horse into the shade and gets a bucket of water. He then pours some of the water over the horse and gives the rest to Silver to drink.It is then he notices that there isn't a breeze so he asks Tonto if he would start running around Silver to get some air flowing and perhaps cool him down. Being a faithful friend, Tonto starts running around Silver. The Lone Ranger stands there for a bit then realizes there is not much more he can do, so he goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey. After a bit a cowboy walks in and says, "Who's white horse is that outside?" Slowly the Lone Ranger turns around and says, "That is my horse, what is wrong with him now?" "Nothing," replies the cowboy, "I just wanted to let you know that you left your Injun running."
Does not matter as long as it pays it back and don't go around with begging buckets and pay 5p in the £
Mr Potato is saying 'farewell' to his daughters, Charlotte, Melody and Desiree. He tells them that if they are to inherit a share of his his land they must each find a potato of the finest stock to marry. After a year or so, the girls come back with news. 'So', says Mr Potato. 'Have you found all found a potato worthy of your hand in marriage?' 'Oh yes, father,' says Charlotte. 'I've found a lovely Maris Piper. He's gorgeous.' The father is impressed. 'Oh, daughter, dear, you have done well. The Pipers are a noble potato, a fine family of spuds. You indeed shall inherit some earth.' He takes a deep breath and turns to Melody. 'How about you, sweet potato child. Have you found a potato worthy of your hand in marriage?' 'I certainly hope so, father,' says Melody. 'With your permission I'd like to marry the handsome King Edward.' The father cries with joy. 'Royalty, we're marrying into royalty. I'm so proud. In that case, of course, you too will inherit some earth.' Mr Potato turns to Desiree. 'How about you, Desiree, dearest. Do you have your eye on a particular potato?' Desiree blushes. 'Well, father. With your permission, I'd like to marry John Motson.' 'John Motson!' says Mr Potato. 'You can't marry John Motson.' 'Oh dear me,' says Desiree. 'Why ever not, father?' 'Well... he's just a common tato.'
'Well, father. With your permission, I'd like to marry John Motson.' 'John Motson!' says Mr Potato. 'You can't marry John Motson.' 'Oh dear me,' says Desiree. 'Why ever not, father?' 'Well... he's just a common tato.'[/QUOTE] I got it after thinking a while!
Best pack up and go to Swansea then - seeing the unusual colours on many Jack's fans. It clearly does what it says on the tin!!!!
Coming Out Of The Closet Bob The Slob with the tiny knob finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and Bob the Slob was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?" Bob the Slob said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!"
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
I got it after thinking a while![/QUOTE] Fug me Barry, you've only posted 24 I see, but that one has left a deep impact on my life...God bless pal!
Bob the Slob and his boyfriend are trying to set up a new password for their computer. Bob puts, "Mypenis," and the boyfriend falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
