Man of the People : Mike Ashley

Its been on the cards for a while, but, now its finally here and Mike is offering cut price gym membership
at a paltry fiver a month.

Who says he doesn't care about the ordinary person in the street. Whilst others like the Government fiddle about and do f*** all about the obesity epidemic engulfing the UK, along comes Mike to help fatties everywhere.
At a fraction of the prices at other gyms, Mike should be congratulated by the masses for giving them the opportunity of a better life.



Sports Direct boss Mike Ashley set to open cheap gym chain

A NEW cut price gym in Keighley is part of the latest business plans by Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley.

He is to open a chain of cut-price gyms charging £5 a month in the latest expansion of his Sports Direct business empire.

The retailer claimed it would “revolutionise the market” with plans to open 200 sites charging a fraction of rivals’ prices. There will be a £10 joining fee.

A flagship 20,000 sq ft site is to open at Aintree on Merseyside next month alongside a new Sports Direct store. Another gym will follow at Keighley.

A Sports Direct spokesman said: “Our memberships will offer fantastic value for money.

Sports Direct said its £5 price deal was being trialled at its new purpose-built gyms with a view to rolling it out at the former LA Fitness sites in the future.

On a separate note it has emerged that Newcastle United will no longer be selling pies and pasties at their ground St James Park on match days, a club spokesperson announced that Mr Ashley was taking very seriously the 'health of the nation, and where better to start than at the North Easts premier football stadium.

A further initiative announced by the club, has been the change is use arrangements of the lifts at St James Park. The spokesperson confirmed the lifts would be available for disabled fans only in future, able bodied persons would be encouraged to walk up the stairs, rather than using the lifts. Again Mr Ashley sees this as a means of helping fans to become more healthy.

Good on yer Mike I say, about time someone did something.

 

so he stops us having pies and opens up a gym in Liverpool ,sounds about right

 

told the wife about the cheap gym ,replied not interested don't like the man

 

He's obviously doing it to piss them off at DW.

I wonder if fat Mike will be shedding the pounds at one of these gyms then?

 

yeah maybe, but when you look at it rationally, he's only thinking about our health, so we don't become like the bindippers.

 

C'mon DM, he's doing this for the masses, for you
Seriously though, why does Slim Mike need to use one of his own gyms?
Besides, would you wanna take the chance of leaving your car parked up in Liverpool too long.

 

If we take Mike's advice we'll all end up as rotund as he is.

I think I'll stick to my exercise bike and rowing machine, fat Mike can keep his cut-price gyms.

p.s. no more pies at St James? it'll cause a riot!

 

Honestly hate the idea of gyms. Love the idea of ladies in jogging shorts, sure, and that has been 100% responsible for my thus far incursions into the Gym-hood, but I was 100% balking within 3 seconds at some guy staring at himself in the mirror and screaming as he posed. I much prefer working out at home, where there's no time pressure or hassle, and I think that's broadly reflected in recent statistics I observed that said on average a gym-membership-holder goes about 2-3 times a year... That's f***ing crazy. Here guys, take my money, please, I have too much, just take it

And who wants to run on a treadmill? Who are these people?! Unless you're recovering from some kind of trauma, why can't you use outside like a normal person?

Rowing machines, sure, it's not an easily and cheaply achieved exercise... But treadmills? I bet you any money you'd hear your ****ty Kylie Minogue songs on your pink ipod nano if you got yourself outside instead of bounding up on down on the loudest thing ever invented.

 

Hahahahahahahaha. I sense a bit of embellishment there.... You know how I like to use the lift up to L7

 

Bloody hell, he'll be banning the deep fried Mars Bars at Rangers matches next! They'll lynch him!

 

Seems to be a bit of bitterness in this post. Have you had a bad gym experience some time in your life? Keep having to reduce the weights on the strength machines after the previous guy? Ejected off the back of a treadmill?

Some of us aren't blessed with the great outdoor environment of Newcastle. The advantage of running on a treadmill in a gym here is that 1) you don't have to wear a gas mask which can get a bit tiresome after the first few km 2) you don't get many people running you over on motorcycles on treadmills. Of course it helps that there are lots of young Asian women in lycra. And I don't have a pink Ipod Nano - its puce.

 

Knowing him he will be doing this so he can reduce the size of the seats and fit a few more people in without having to rebuild.

 

Good point.

It will also save him money on shirt production costs when ACS is down to just a XXXXL, as they'll need less material per shirt.

 

I had never looked at it that way - its better being fat as you are getting more shirt for your money. In fact its a solution for MrTiote - if he wants to get his Newcastle top but still hit Ashley in the pocket just pile on the weight first. He then doesn't need to feel bad about shopping at the Newcastle store - he hits Ashley in the pocket AND has a shirt (and probably diabetes).

 

I have a treadmill. Due to working hours, running after about 8pm is the only option.
I'm much happier that my wife runs inside the flat than the streets of London, or a local park, after dark, thanks very much.

 

Treadmills are better for interval training too as it's more measurable. I dovetail both pretty well I reckon.

 

I use both treadmill (at home) and outdoors. I suffered from bad knees, ankles and shin splints from playing football. I get shin splints from running on the pavement, less so on a treadmill. I don't think it helps your knees or ankles to be honest, but shin splints wise, there is a noticeable difference. Its also is helpful when the bad weather arrives and its pretty dicey to go out running, or just when you don't want a weather beaten face. All round JPF is just plain wrong as usual.

 

Hahahahahahahaha you guys are all soft!

Ameobi's Zepplin... Surely anyone who wants to do harm to your wife is an added incentive for her to get that fat arse moving?!

Fat lot of use you lot would be when the badger's revolt and start tearing us all limb from limb... "Sorry Mr Badger, I can't run away without Chris DeBurgh and air-conditioning"

I have my own collection of weights, as an amateur bodybuilder, a rowing machine. All anybody needs!

 

Car does 0 to 60 in 6.6 seconds, needs to be a super badger to get me

 

Absolutely disgraceful comment...she has a fine ass, I saw it when stalking her last week as she left for work