Pardew Bingo

What quotes / comments / lies can we expect from Pardew this season?

Pick your three favourites, first to hear all three wins! ...winner gets some Fake Internet Points.

I'm going for:

"we just couldn't get them over the line"
(on a player we failed to get in the summer, ie Lacazette, Remy)

"he'll be like a new signing for us"
(on Cisse / Raylor / Tiote coming back from injury)

"we don't have the funding of a sovereign state"
(on our Billionaire owner not investing as much as an Arabian / Russian billionaire would)

 

'The fans expect too much. We just don't have the spending power of Hull City or Southampton'

 

"We brought in our quality at the beginning of the window. We tried to do one or two more but time was against us"

"It's frustrating for the fans, but I think we've improved the squad"

"I'm happy with what we've got"

 

strong entry there, you've got a good chance of winning this.

Unlike Newcastle and any football matches.

 

Mike Ashleys ballsack has a lovely taste

 

'we was unlucky as we just couldn't get the right players over the line'

'hatttem caused us problems by leaving it so late to secure HIS transfer so we were left short'

'the fans should think themselves lucky as Mike has really invested heavily in the team this year'


Other ones to look out for are....


'we have the best young player in the PL in Aarons... he will be a big player for us and is like a new signing'

'we are struggling right now because of the fans as they expect too much too soon'

'Obertan is like a new signing for us this year'

 

'It's time for Cisse to step up to the mark. He will be like a new signing'

Oh wait, he's already said that

 

We will be a force this year
I'm aiming for the champions league


And my favourite

Big thanks to mike

 

Those are terrifyingly accurate

 

"Well I think you've got to be grateful Mike used a bit of lube this time at the beginning"

 

Too true. He normally goes in dry but this time he smoothed his way in.

 

of course

"I have to thank the owner"

****. off.

 

The prices we were being quoted were ridiculously high.

The players we could afford were no better than what we have.

Once the team gels the fans will see that we have strengthened the squad.

 

'This is a tough job up here but Christ someone has to do it. I've got another ten ****ing years to get it right anyway. The fans would do well to remember that!'

'Obertan is a good man and a good player. His wife is also a good woman....very good' (luring towards reporters, possible movement of right hand in trouser pocket, sly wink at camera).

'I can honestly attest that the black, satanic worm Jism of Ashley gives me the valuable protein I need to manage this football club on a daily basis'

 

It's going to annoy me when the tossers on TV start wondering why we're so pissed off

Saying we signed 9 players but in all seriousness other than 3 they are ****e and we've sold debuchy Cabaye and lost remy ffs

 

Supporters to sow more restraint and not urge the team to score more goals when they are already in front

 

For once pardew was right if we don't attend games Ashley will have to improve the product

 

" I am a **** manager and so grateful to mike for the job i will do anything, tell the fans to F*** off they know nothing"
**** did someone record that. No send out the usual crap. You don't know how difficult it is to attract top talent here with me and mike running the show.They all laugh at us.

 

Mein Gott im Himmel, it's like he's actually posting here.

 

The best thing he could do is just say it like it is

Listen up you geordie idiots your Pissy little club is as it's peak so just get on with it do you not think I'd rather be at a club that tries to win trophies.