Shop staff who call me 'sir' when trying to flog me something. Or anyone who calls me ' Sir ' Bloody crawling gits. .... Hull FC. No need for them to exist when we have Hull KR .
Back to the original post. I like it when the checkout person asks me if I want help packing. I'm a bloke and I'm **** at packing, I have no system. I'll happily stick a chicken in with bottles bleach and a bag of carrots. The more mature checkouter (not being sexist but especially if it's a female) knows how to pack stuff properly and in the right order. What's not to like?
It's the same thing that means the poor assistant has to make all sorts of daft comments, like "thank you for waiting" and my choice was what exactly?
Waiters and waitresses who ask you if everything is Okay with your food whilst your eating and have food in your mouth.
No No No, those are good for clearing a space to stand in a crowded pub. People who won't step away from the bar after being served, now they can go into 101
Arse wiping + Flaws in evolution (combined entry) If Darwin was such a bloody boffin and his theory is anything like correct, then how come when I take a **** I need to put my nice clean hand down by my arsehole and indulge in numerous wipes, whereas my idiot dog has a monster crap and bingo, clean as a whistle. Evolution my arse.......please.
How do animals go about regarding foreskin hygiene? Humans are very high maintenance when it comes to hygiene compared to other mammals.
Double over and plenty of tongue..... Would it be ok to put my 37 week pregnant wife in room 101? She's used all of her weekly whinge vouchers already and it's only Wednesday!
Kinell Carmine, I'm disappointed. Very disappointed. Gutted even. Devastated. My soul is blowing adrift, across a desolate sea. Alone. Unloved. Tethered to the Ship of No Hope. Heading for the Port of Eternal Moribundiness. A packing system is an attribute of manliness. One bag for cold stuff. If more than one bag then mix freezer with fridge to extend coldness time. Fresh produce bags? Get three ready and load according to weight. (Eg. Potatoes at the bottom, courgettes and asparagus higher up. None food items can be mixed although rooming can be used to filter more than one bag. (eg. Bathroom stuff separated from under the kitchen sink stuff). Alcohol double or even triple bagged. I could go on, but FFS man, get a grip. Get on a men only packing course. All the majors offer them. Although Aldi's is the best. And the most German.
Ernest, You know I like you as a poster and as a man. A proper man, a man's man. I very rarely, if ever, challenge you because it's a futile exercise. You are a font of wisdom and knowledge. However. You are so wide of the mark on this, I've actually got tears running down my face as a write this, that my respect for you may have taken a hit that I cannot recover from. What sort of bloke knows what goes where in relation to food items and the like? It's not a mans work Ern, never has been and never will be. I just lob anything that comes down from the checkouter in the nearest bag. I couldn't give less of a frig. Her indoors ordered a delivery the other day, over £230 worth. She's not daft, she ordered it for when I was at home and she was out. Where she thought it would all go Christ himself would struggle to answer. Crate after crate kept coming off that bastard can. I just told the delivery bloke to stack it up in the hallway and left it for the fuehrer to put away when she got home. The freezer stuff had melted, which didn't please her too much. She won't do that again though will she? Will she?
Microwaveable food packaging. Now I like cooking and very very rarely buy microwaveable products but the words 'peel back film lid' as part of cooking instructions fill me with dread. Getting a firm grip on the slightly enlarged corner of film and pulling, nay teasing the clear plastic away from it's container. It's pretty much guaranteed to remove the outer excess film, leaving the bulk firmly secured to the container. I trundle off to the cutlery draw for some scissors, a broken and defeated man.
We don't have scissors in our galley at work. Why not? I don't know. So I have to try and cut the plastic with a knife whilst trying not to scald my hands from the steam escaping from the overly micro waved gloop within. If it's a ruby the act of getting the rice on the plate without causing severe burns is an art form in itself.
I'm not saying that a man's in-house distribution system shouldn't be the work of his chosen pack-horse partner and I can understand that 30 quids worth of ruined freezer stuff is worth it to merely make a point but my concern here is that having a system, any system, is a necessary part of the Art of Manliness. For example, I have a system worked out for the most logical approach to avoiding pregnancy. I'd take the pill. Ensure that he wore a condom and had had several previous vastectamies. Then I would avoid places were men went. And finally ensure that I never had sex. Voilà . Pregnancy avoided. I'm never going to need to use this system but it's as well to have a system thought out for everything. Such as packing. It doesn't mean that you actually have to use it!
